where are you christmas
by summerkid
Summary: This year Santana has doubts of her 9 year Xmas ritual with Brittany. So she contemplates whether to continue it or not. She is visited by 3 not so ghostly people to see her past, present & future...
1. Chapter 1

**_now i know it's early for this, but it shall be a 5 part story so by the time it ends it will be just in time;) i've decided to do a Christmas story with Santana in the role of 'Scrooge', to an extent. She's not bitter, well, as bitter as Scrooge anyhow. But it's a look into how Santana's life would be like if she changes something in her life that has been a constant. Just one decision on one day. _**

**_So this is just to start it up and then we'll see what happens when Santana is visited by three not so ghostly people. enjoy and let me know what you think and if i should continue._**

**_p.s. the chapters following this are much longer, this is merely an introduction_**

It was the time of year when people string up lights to their gutters, put blow up snowmen on their front lawn, put on a display in their window of Santa's workshop and when little boys and little girls write their Christmas lists to the jolly old fat man. A time of year where people get together with family, friends and other people close to them exchange gifts, eat too much and when the grownups get drunk and talk poorly about their mothers/fathers slightly embarrassing their own children.

Santana Lopez cruises the halls of McKinley High heading to her locker to throw all of her books inside because Christmas break is starting as soon as the bell rings. She will not be doing anything that requires opening up a book on this vacation. Luckily she's been acing everything so far this year and she figures that being a little unprepared when they get back will not set her back.

Grabbing her Cheerio's jacket she hears a group of other Cheerio's walking past her locker talking about what they are going to be doing over break. She completely tunes them out as she considers what her own vacation is going to be like.

Just as it is every year her family on her mother's side comes over on Christmas and they have dinner. Which is usually followed by her brother's fighting over pie, someone getting injured, usually her when she tries to get her slice of pie while their wrestling, and sometimes, not all the time something in the house gets broken from all of the boy relatives rough housing. Last year it happened to be Santana's wrist which did not please Coach Sylvester one bit.

Santana shakes her head at last year's Christmas memory and hopes upon hope that this year is not going to be a repeat of the year before, or the year before that or the year before that. But as she closes her locker she thinks of one other thing that has always been a constant on Christmas. Her eyes glance to the locker beside hers that is fully decorated with Christmas paraphernalia and a sad smile creeps over her face.

Every Christmas since she was 6 there has been a certain something present that has always made her Christmas a little bit more special than she assumes anyone else's could ever be. The blonde girl from down the street has always been a part of her holiday and each year it only made the time of year more memorable. There's a tug at her heart as her mind quickly grazes over the past 9 Christmas memories she has shared with her blonde counterpart realizing this Christmas is not the same as the others.

Shrugging on her Cheerio's jacket she walks alone down the hall wondering how everything has changed. It seemed like just yesterday the recently estranged best friends were having snowball fights in front of Santana's house trying to ambush her brother's and cousins and then walking to the park for some alone time. These days are so different and they barely speak which only gives Santana the impression that this Christmas is going to go right into that same different direction. She can't help but wonder how different her Christmas is going to be this year if her and her best friend aren't together. Just thinking about it terrifies her because although she can never rely on anyone else, she can always rely on Brittany. But nowadays she seems a bit unsure of the one thing she was always so certain about.

Every Christmas morning for the past 9 years has started off exactly the same. At 5 am every Christmas there is a small tap on Santana's window, well for the first 3 years anyway, for the next 3 Santana would open her window at 4:55 am so that Brittany could climb right in. With Brittany safely and warmly inside the two friends would sit on Santana's bed and exchange gifts. Santana had once suggested that they do it the night before or later on in the day but Brittany explained that the day before doesn't count as Christmas. Then countered with the fact that she wanted her gift to be the first one Santana opens because you always remember the first gift, in Brittany's mind anyway. It really never mattered when Santana would open the blonde's gifts, she could never forget them, ever.

When they were 13 things changed slightly and instead of coming over at 5am in the morning, Santana started sneaking over to Brittany's at 12am Christmas morning. She would climb up to her window and they would sleep making sure to set the alarm for 5am, in order to maintain their ritual.

After exchanging gifts they would lay around and talk about everything and anything until around 6:30am or until they heard Brittany's little sister wake up and then Santana would run down the street back to her house. Then later in the Brittany would come over and have dessert with the Lopez family and then Santana would go to the Pierce's to see what Brittany got from Santa.

When Brittany was done showing off her new clothes to Santana the two would sneak out into the snow filled streets and walk aimlessly. Last year they had managed to find themselves at a park a few blocks away from the high school and kissed under the light of the moon as the snow fell around them. It was 20 below but Santana never remembered feeling so warm.

But things were definitely different this year. Brittany is with Artie. She can't imagine that their 9 year ritual was capable of making it to the 10 year mark with that obstacle in her way. It didn't seem possible for her to wake up at 12am Christmas morning and slip through Brittany's window and slide into bed with her the way she has done for the past 3 Christmases.

Yes, it was their thing, but is it still? Brittany had Artie now maybe they had a planned thing. Maybe Brittany is starting a new ritual this year. Chances are that Brittany would forget about their memories of Christmas mornings considering her new life with two wheeler Artie Abrams on her arm now. Santana can just see herself trying to get into Brittany's window only to find it locked and when she peers inside she can envision that loser in her spot. That thought makes her a little queasy because is she really that easy to replace? Is she replaceable?

It would also be too embarrassing if she walks up to Brittany and asks her if they are still on for their yearly meeting because, they never talk about it they just do it. Their Christmas mornings are just how they do things, they don't plan it, it's routine and that's all. This year though, Santana knows it's different, she can even smell it in the air. And she for one is not going to put herself into an already awkward situation so, she decides to herself that in order to save face and perhaps her humility she will not be going to Brittany's Christmas morning. No matter how torn about it she is.


	2. rhodes to christmas past

**_okay so here's the situation. since the intro to this was so0o0o short i felt that you deserved something to really sink your teeth into. so i've posted the second chapter to this story._**

**_i really hope you enjoy because this has been so much fun to write:) and i hope you like the 'ghosts' in my story as well. by the title of this chapter i'm sure you can guess who the first ghost will be._**

**_review:) it makes me happy_**

* * *

**rhodes to christmas past**

It's 10pm Christmas Eve and Santana is helping her mother finish setting up the dining room table for dinner the next day. They did this together every year while her father and brother's chopped firewood for the fireplace out back. It was a routine they had. Her body went through the motions but her mind was not in on it this year. Not that it ever was before. For the past few years while she helped her mother all she could do was count the minutes, seconds even, till she would slip quietly out of her window and walk over to her best friend's house. But this year is different.

Her thoughts are muddled with the fact that she has chosen not to take part in the Brittany/Santana Christmas festivities. She can't help but wonder if her absence is going to go unnoticed as she truly believes it will. With Brittany in her new relationship with Artie she can't help but imagine her not crawling into the blonde's bedroom to be much of a disappointment. And that concept disappoints her. But she's made a decision. Considering their past two Christmas morning's together and how their relationship had been pre-Artie it also seems mildly inappropriate for her to even think that it is okay for their routine to continue.

"Okay Santana we're all set here." Mrs. Lopez sighs smiling proudly at the table she and her daughter had put together. "It looks wonderful as always. Though I'm sure your Abuela will find something wrong with it." She smirks at Santana who grins nodding just to agree.

"I'm going to go to bed." Santana tells her mother who shoots her a quizzical gaze glancing down at her watch.

"It's only 10:45pm." She exclaims in surprise. Santana shrugs and forces out a fake yawn.

"I'm just beat. All of this holiday spirit just exhausts me." Santana lies through her teeth turning to head out of the room.

"Alright sweetie." Mrs. Lopez waves her off giving her a worried look. "Sleep tight." Santana turns around and says 'goodnight' to her mother. "Oh and Santana." Her mother calls causing her to back track two steps. "Tell Brittany I said Merry Christmas." Mrs. Lopez winks before turning her gaze back to the table settings. Santana stands there with a blank expression on her face. So much for being 'sneaky' all these years, her mom knew the whole time. She shrugs her shoulders and marches to her room.

After changing into pajama's, brushing her teeth, washing her face and brushing her hair she is pretty much ready for bed. She pulls down her covers and is about to get in when she glances towards the window. The window that a 6 year old Brittany Pierce had tapped on 10 years ago that started everything. Santana walks over to the window lifting it up and letting a gust of wind blow through her room making her t-shirt move around her body. She shivers at the feel of the cold December air but puts that feeling to the back of her mind as she places her hands on the window sill and leans out looking to the street.

It had snowed a few days ago but now the white frost is almost fully melted away and the black of the streets can be seen along with the semi green and yellow grass spots on everyone's lawn. She takes in a deep breath before pulling back into her room reaching her hands up to the window and shutting in. Santana brings her hands up to the top of the window and stands there for a moment in thought. A million and one thoughts roll through her mind but everything has the same conclusion. Everything is different now, and with that she turns the knobs that lock her window up.

As she slips under her comforter she looks to the clock on her nightstand reading it to herself, '11:32pm'. The Latina sighs and leans up to shut her lamp off and cuddles under her covers trying to get the chill from outside out of her. When she closes her eyes all she can see is blonde and blue and smiles and then there's some kid in a wheelchair which causes her to open her eyes every 5 seconds. After a while of tossing and turning she looks to the clock again.

"Ugh only 11:40pm, this is going to be a long ass night." She mumbles to herself pulling the covers over her face to block the glimmer of the clock from her eyes.

To pass the time she starts singing in her head and opts for the 12 days of Christmas, 'tis the season and all. She gets up to the 5th day of Christmas before she finally begins to get a little sleepy and a real yawn over comes her. Santana smiles in relief, finally sleep is coming her way and she can be rid of this horrible ache in her heart.

In the middle of the state between sleep and consciousness Santana feels something drop at the foot of the bed right by her feet. Something that is not moving anytime soon and is pressing up against her calf a little and in her completely out of it state she only assumes that it's close to 7am because that is when her mom sneaks in and puts her Christmas stocking on her bed. She usually pretends to be asleep when this happens because it makes her mother happy.

The sound of the grandfather clock in the living room a few feet away from her room signals to her that it is some odd hour in the morning. So she peeks her head out of her covers to glance at the clock on her nightstand.

"12:00am?" She practically shouts. "What the…?" Santana turns her head towards the foot of her bed and catches a glimpse of blonde. "Brittany?" She asks fully turning over and sitting up but what she comes to see is that the blonde at the foot of her bed is not Brittany. "Ahhh!" She screams and kicks her feet sending the blonde haired person flying off and to the floor.

"Ahhh!" The blonde person yells back and then there is a bang on the floor. "Ahhh!" Another screech and Santana sits up more and searches the floor to find out who this mysterious person is in her bedroom. "Oh…" She hears the woman's voice and it sounds a little giggly. "It's okay." They stand up and the dark room doesn't let Santana really make out who it is quite yet. "I didn't spill a drop. We're good." Santana rubs her eyes and leans over to her lamp and turns it on hastily and when she turns back to the woman her eyes go wide. "Whoa." The woman says stumbling back a little bit shielding her eyes from the light. "You'll never catch me alive copper." She jokes and when she adjusts to the newly lit room she cheers' her drink in the air and takes a sip.

"April?" Santana asks in complete and utter bewilderment. She shuts her eyes tightly shaking her head before opening them again to make sure she is not seeing things.

"Howdy." April winks and tips her nonexistent hat to the Latina.

"Is this a dream?" Santana aims the question more to herself rather than to April but she looks up as the older blonde jumps back onto the bed beside her.

"Don't think so, this drink tastes pretty real to me." April giggles taking a long gulp from her red solo cup. "But let's find out." She leans over and pinches Santana's arm to which the Latina yelps swatting April's hand away and rubbing the now sore spot. "Nope not a dream pop tart." April grins offering Santana some of her drink but the teenager shakes her head and the older woman shrugs as though it is her loss.

"Then what the hell are you doing here?" Santana asks her still caressing her own arm. April tilts her head scrunching her eyebrows together confused.

"That's a good question Savana…" April begins and gets up from the bed starting to walk around the room and look through things.

"Santana." She corrects and April pauses and points to her nodding.

"Oh that's a pretty name." She grins. "Last thing I remember is I was at a frat party and I was playing flip cup, and well, here I am." April vaguely recollects picking up a picture frame off of Santana's desk and analyzing it trying to focus.

"That's kind of creepy." Santana says looking around her room as if waiting to find some random college guy in her room too. It's April so you never know.

"Tell me about it. When a guy at a frat house tells you 'don't worry what's in it just drink it', don't do it." April laughs placing her cup down on Santana's desk and walking over to the bed taking a seat beside the Latina. "I think my buzz is wearing off because I'm kind of remembering why I'm here." Santana rolls her eyes, tonight really is going to be a long night.

"Well you better spit it out soon because I'm pretty sure my dad will be in here any second. Sometimes I have nightmares and when I scream he comes running in with a baseball bat." Santana explains to her and April goes into a fit of giggles.

"Oh silly, he didn't hear a thing. He's still passed out." The blonde tells Santana who looks at her oddly. "This isn't a dream, but it's not real life." April says only causing the Latina to give her a stranger stare.

"Okay, I'm super confused." Santana admits looking to her clock for a moment it's still 12:00am and she jerks her head back. This woman has had to be in her room for over 15 minutes now. When she turns back to face April the woman is on the other side of the room looking through her closet. "What the hell?"

"Didn't someone tell you I was coming?" April asks taking out a dress from Santana's closet and pressing it against her. She takes a sip from her cup accidentally spilling some on the dress. Her eyes widen and she looks quickly to Santana who isn't paying attention and slides it back into the closet moving on to the bookshelf, that's much safer she thinks.

"No." Santana draws out standing up and crossing her arms over her chest.

"Well isn't that just dandy." April mocks shaking her head and waving the hand holding her cup around spilling some of its contents on the ground. "The communication here is horrible. Don't worry I will talk to someone about this. I will write a lengthy letter to our congressman." She winks and Santana can only shake her head at the clearly drunk woman continues to make no sense to her.

"So then why don't you just tell me why you're here?" Santana offers and sits back down, April nods and tries her best to walk over without tripping and takes a seat on the bed again.

"You will be visited by three ghosts!" April says in a throaty voice and brings her hands up to try and be spooky and Santana quirks an eyebrow. The blonde's arms fall to her body and she blankly stares at the young girl in front of her before she cracks up smacking her thigh. "Just kidding sweetie, ghosts just scare the pants off of people so we don't do that anymore."

"We?" The Latina inquires.

"Yes we, the 'ghosts' of Christmas past, present and future." April explains nonchalantly like it is any other job and Santana snorts.

"So what are you?" She asks and April looks down her own blouse and chuckles pointing to Santana.

"That's a trick question." And she slaps Santana's thigh. "I'm real but I'm not real to you."

"That makes no sense at all." The Cheerio states bluntly.

"This is real but it's all in your mind but its reality." April tells her again turning her head and side eyeing the dark haired girl.

"Explain it to me like I'm stupid."

"Tonight you are going to be taken on a journey to revisit your past, look at the here and now and then what your future will look like if you choose this path." April explains innocently and apparently soberly.

"And what path is 'this'?" Santana asks in a mocking tone. April places a picture frame into Santana's hands and points to it when the Latina looks down she sees it's a picture of her and Brittany. "I don't get it." She shakes her head putting the picture frame behind her and looking back to April.

"You made a decision tonight." April tells her and retrieves the frame once more and pushing it back into the girl's hands. "A decision that could forever change your world." Santana quirks an eyebrow and looks back at the two girls in the photo.

"All I did is decide to not go to Brittany's." She shrugs and lets her hands still holding the frame fall to her lap.

"That's what you think my little taquito. You may not understand it now, but you will. So stop being such a buzz kill and just enjoy the ride." April shouts and she jumps up to the desk where suddenly there is a bottle of champagne and she grabs it shaking it. "Now let's do this it's almost time." She pops the cork and pours it into two glasses.

"Almost time for what?" Santana asks her taking the glass that is over flowing.

"Less talking and more drinking I always say. Bottoms up." April winks and clinks her glass to Santana's. The younger girl watches her take it like a shooter, shrugs her shoulders and follows suit.

The bubbly liquid goes down smooth and it tastes sweet almost like strawberries but it also has a hint of something floral, but doesn't taste like flowers. It kind of reminds Santana of summer when she and Brittany used to play at the playground when they were little. But before she can fully appreciate this sense memory her mind goes completely blank and the room goes black and she suddenly feels very drunk. Her body is moving fast and slow at the same time and she can't see anything at all and all she can hear is April shouting 'woohoo' and 'isn't this awesome' and laughing the entire time.

Eventually the sudden drunk feeling fades away and the movements stop and her eyes are beginning to adjust to a new kind of darkness with a hint of light. This sight is all too familiar as it becomes more clear to her where she is. Her mouth opens to speak but she closes it when she feels April's hand on her arm and she whips her head to the blonde.

"Shh, just listen, and then watch." April tells her softly. Apparently that crazy trip made her sober as well. April smiles to her and motions behind them and as if on cue Santana can hear light tapping from behind.

Her eyebrows knit together when the sound happens again and she slowly turns her head to see where it's coming from. She turns her whole body around when she finally realizes she is in her room only not her room anymore. It's her 6 year old self's room and there she is lying in bed. The tapping happens for a third time and the now Santana looks to the window and sees a small blonde head just making it over the window sill.

Single digit Santana finally stirs and looks to the window.

"Brittany?" Little Santana squeaks and hops out of bed shuffling to the window and when she gets it open reaches for her friend's hand and pulls her in.

"Merry Christmas San." Tiny Brittany's voice is high pitched too and teen Santana can't help but chuckle and then covers her mouth turning to April.

"You can't hear you or see you." April tells her as she squeezes a jell-o shot into her mouth and tossing the container to the side of the room. "Neither can blondie. We could sing!" April sing songs laughing at herself and Santana ignores her and turns her attention back to her younger self and the just as young Brittany Pierce.

"Yeah, it's Christmas Brittany, what are you doing here?" Santana presses closing the window once her friend is securely inside clutching something under her arm.

"Exactly." The blonde states making her way to her friend's bed and hopping on to it with ease. 6 year old Santana eyes her blonde friend up questionably before she takes a seat next to her. "I wanted to give you my gift before you opened gifts from Santa." Brittany explains shoving the package she had been keeping under her arm into Santana's hands. The little Latina looks at the package that looks like it had been wrapped by her dog about 1,000 times over and she grins from ear to ear. "Go on open it Sany, you're going to love it I just know it." Brittany nudges her friend with her elbow.

Santana wastes no time and digs in to the gift sending wrapping paper everywhere in her room possible. Eventually she comes to a small box and she smiles to her friend before lifting the cover up. Her eyes go wide when she sees that it is a friendship bracelet. She reaches in and looks it over, inspecting it carefully. It is beaded with black, red and white beads and has the letters 'B' & 'S' right next to each other.

"B I love it." Santana beams slipping it right onto her wrist and pulling her friend into a tight hug.

"I knew you would." Brittany shakes on the bed so proud of herself for her amazing gift giving abilities. Santana looks down proudly at her present and then to Brittany.

"I have something for you too." Santana jumps off of the bed and runs to her closet almost disappearing as she heads to the back of it.

"This is my favorite part." April announces pointing to Brittany whose face is lighting up just at the prospect of getting a present.

"It's not as cool as this bracelet." Santana sheepishly tells the blonde feeling guilty now about what she had thought was the coolest at the time of her 75 cent purchase. "But I know you're gonna like it." She smiles and hands the wrapped gift to the blonde who quickly removes the paper and brings into view a box of crayons and a coloring book.

"Puppies and ducks." Brittany squeals pulling her gifts to her chest hugging them tight. "San you're the greatest." She places them on the bed and all but jumps on her friend to hug her.

"You really like it?" Santana asks nervously and Brittany pulls away nodding.

"Yeah, come on let's color a page before I have to go home." Brittany pulls her hand to kneel at the bed and they open the coloring book and start coloring.

"Merry Christmas Brittany." Santana tells her as they color furiously. "You're my best friend."

"Why is that your favorite part?" Older Santana questions April and the woman turns to smile at her.

"Because you could have given Brittany a rock and she would have loved it." April explains and Santana laughs at the stupidity of this statement. "Seriously, if it came from you that's all that mattered to her. Hell even if you didn't get her anything it wouldn't matter."

The room fades to black and suddenly she is back in her room in the present and she is sitting on her bed with April standing in front of her with a mini airplane bottle of vodka in her hand. Santana has a sweet smile on her face after viewing that wonderful memory that kicked off the best 9 Christmases of her life.

"Look at you all sensitive and mushy." April presses her index finger into Santana's dimple and the Latina swats her hand away.

"Shut up. It was, a nice moment." Santana muses remembering how the rest of that day went only to remember that was no more. There will not be more days like that because she has chosen to end it.

"Well don't worry pumpkin." April grabs her by the hand and out her bedroom door. "Hold on to your hat because we're going for round two." She yells and before they head out of Santana's front door everything goes white and when the moving of her body stops again she and April are standing on the side of Brittany's house watching a still younger, but a little bit older Santana climbing through Brittany's bedroom window.

Santana notices that there is so much snow outside and wonders why she isn't cold. She looks down at what she wearing and all but shouts jumping back slightly.

"What the hell?" She asks looking to April who is only looking at her as though she were crazy. "How is it possible that even in my non-reality reality I am wearing my Cheerio's uniform?" Santana motions at her wardrobe and April shrugs her shoulders.

"Okay I'm drunk and even I know that this," She points to the uniform. "Is not why we're here." Santana rolls her eyes and when she turns her head back to the window she realizes they are in Brittany's bedroom.

"Merry Christmas B." Younger Santana whispers as she makes her way from the window to Brittany who is kneeling at the foot of her bed with her arms outstretched for her friend.

"Merry Christmas Sany." The blonde says just as softly and wraps her arms around the other girl's neck pulling her closer and onto the bed with her. Santana kicks her shoes off and crawls on to the bed still embracing Brittany.

Santana from the present smiles and she turns to look at April she finds the woman in the corner shaking a martini mixer. She rolls her eyes and turns back to the old her and Brittany and sits down at Brittany's desk.

"You're really going to like my gift this year." Brittany tells her friend as she moves to pull Santana to bed so they can sleep till 5am like they do every year. Brittany pauses looks down at the fingers circling her arm and then to Santana's eyes. "What's wrong?" Santana shakes her head and nervously lets out a laugh.

"Nothing, I just…" Her voice shakes slightly and she looks away, but only for a moment. "I was wondering if we could switch it up this year exchanging gifts now and let me give you my gift first?" She asks tilting her head and trying to give the blonde her best puppy dog eyes. Brittany giggles and tries her best Santana eye roll and falls back to her sitting position on the bed.

"Okay, I guess we can do that this one time." She emphasizes that it's only a one time deal. Santana gives a small smile before her features turn serious for a moment.

April hops onto the desk present Santana is sitting at and it distracts the younger girl for a moment. She looks to April who is watching the scene of the past unfold like it was a soap opera. The blonde woman lifts a toothpick with an olive on the end of it to her lips and pulls it off before tossing the toothpick to the ground. April nudges Santana who is still staring at her absurdly.

"Hey, remember what you gave Brittany this year?" April looks to her and wriggles her eyebrows suggestively causing Santana to knit her eyebrows. What was it this year? This memory is so familiar, well, obviously, it is her memory.

She analyzes her younger self and how nervous she is, fidgety and how she keeps rubbing her palms onto her pajama pants. Brittany dips her head to catch Santana's brown eyes into her own.

"Santana?" Brittany questions kind of holding her hands out for a package of some sort but also trying to read her best friend's features. Santana reaches out and takes Brittany's hand in her own and looks deep into her eyes.

"Oh yeah." Santana version 2010 breathes out with a hint of a smile on her lips.

"B, I have something I've been wanting to give to you for a while. I think you want it, I mean, I'm almost positive." 14 year old Santana stutters.

"Whatever it is I'm sure I'll love it. I love everything you give me." Brittany grins sliding her other hand down Santana's arm to soothe her anxiety.

"That's kind of what I'm banking on." She mumbles under her breath but Brittany hears her. "It's not really something you can unwrap." Santana shifts uncomfortable on the foot she is sitting on.

"Okay." Brittany smiles kindly.

"And it's not really something that you can like, well, look at, or keep really." She explains further and Brittany tilts her head in confusion but shrugs her shoulders and smirks.

"Okay." The blonde assures her to continue.

14 year old Santana stares at her friend for a while, it feels like forever, but it's no longer than 1 minute. Her eyes flitter from blue eyes down to soft lips and she unconsciously licks her own lips. Before she knows it she can feel her body moving, and it feels like slow motion. Brittany watches her friend lean into her and does not move a muscle, her eyes darting down to the moist lips making their way towards hers and she licks hers. Just before their lips meet Santana whispers 'Merry Christmas' and then places a soft kiss onto her best friend.

Their lips move smoothly over one another's for a few minutes hands staying by their sides as their bodies awkwardly move forward pushing the kiss deeper. Brittany takes a chance at testing out her gift and caresses her tongue across Santana's lower lip which elicits a sound from the back of the Latina's throat. She grants access to the blonde and finally their hands decide to take part in the gift of giving.

"That was the best first kiss ever." 2010 Santana sighs looking to April who looks a little teary eyed.

"You guys are like a Lifetime movie." April whimpers sniffling before she shoots back the rest of her martini.

Brittany pulls back from the kiss for the need of oxygen with her eyes still tightly closed and a huge smile on her face. Santana feels her lips are now bare and her eyes shoot open and she can feel her cheeks burning up and she can't fight the smile fighting to come over her face.

"Wow." Brittany breathes out finally opening her eyes. She brings her hand up to Santana's cheek rubbing her thumb against the skin. "That's the best gift you've ever given me Santana." Her voice is so airy and it sends goose bumps down both of the Santanas' arms.

"Even better than the kitten kite I got you 2 years ago." Santana asks arching an eyebrow and Brittany giggles blushing slightly.

"Way better." The blonde confirms and leans into capture the Latina's lips once more.

Again Santana is in 2010 and in her room sitting on her bed watching April Rhodes make yet another drink on her dresser. The blonde offers her a shot and Santana declines still lost in thought and memories.

"So what happened after that first kiss?" April asks licking her fingers clean of any spilled alcohol.

"We kissed a lot more after that." Santana grins thinking back to that year.

"Yes _you_ kissed a lot after that, and then some." April retorts sipping her cocktail to make sure it is good. Santana whips her head in the blonde's direction.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Santana snaps and April stumbles backwards putting her hands up in mock defeat.

"In due time Chiquita banana we have a different stop to take now." April informs the dark haired girl grabbing her by the hand and yanking her along with her. She leads Santana out of her bedroom door and to the front door. Upon opening it she sees another young Santana and Brittany, no older than 9, standing on the front porch.

Present Santana looks questioningly to April who is too busy pouring whiskey into a steaming cup of coffee. She shakes her head and turns her attention back to the memory of her youth being played out before her.

"Did Santa bring you everything you asked for?" Little Santana asks her blonde friend who is all smiles and nods. At this age Santana had figured out that the fat man who supposedly snuck into people's houses late at night did not in fact exist. But Brittany still believed so she would play along with her fantasy.

"What about you Sany, did Santana get you that Barbie you wanted?" The blue eyed cutie wonders linking her pinky to the Latina's when it is offered to her. Santana smiles nodding.

"Yeah, you can play with it later." She tells her friend and they make their way up the walk way.

"Come on let's follow." April says linking her arm into older Santana's and they walk behind the smaller girls.

"Hey Britt?" Tiny Santana breaks their comfortable silence and Brittany looks to her friend curiously clutching a wrapped gift under her arm. "How come we don't invite Quinn to our morning Christmases? I mean we go to her house to give her our gifts anyway." Santana points out and Brittany giggles and lightly shoves Santana who laughs for an unknown reason.

"Because…" Brittany shrugs her shoulder adjusting the gift in her grasp.

"She's our best friend too."

"Quinn is our best friend but, you're mine." Brittany simply states and looks over to brown eyes that are staring at her intently. "I like our Christmas mornings together and I like having you all to myself." She looks down feeling a little embarrassed by this statement.

"Looks like blondie knew how she felt about you for a long time." April exclaims stumbling slightly into Santana.

"I mean, we could invite her if you really want to." Brittany kicks a clump of snow ahead of them and Santana stops walking causing the blonde to stop walking too.

"No, I like you all to myself too." Young Santana tells her best friend and the girls smile at one another and then continue on their journey to Quinn Fabray's house around the block with their presents tightly placed under their arms. "I hope Quinn likes what I got her this year."

"You give the best gifts Sany don't worry." Brittany assures her. "Sany, Quinnie and Brittany BFF forever." Brittany starts singing and swinging their arms between her and skipping making Santana laugh and join in and they sing that all the way to Quinn's.

April walks in front of Santana making the teen bump into her. The blonde woman holds her hand up waiting to catch her balance before she speaks and Santana only looks over her shoulder at the younger version of her and her best friend fade away into the falling snow.

"I don't understand the point in bringing a memory of Quinn into this." Santana sighs rolling her eyes.

"Because once upon a time the 3 of you were inseparable." April points at her dancing to the singing still within ear shot.

"Okay, so what? I thought this was some kind of look back to see my relationship with Brittany. I don't see how Quinn has anything to do with that." The Latina crosses her arms and when the looks to the side she realizes they are back in her room.

"More than you know." April sighs not looking at the girl she's too busy filling up a glass up from her box of wine sitting on Santana's dresser.

"Besides we stopped celebrating Christmas with Quinn like 2 years ago." She explains falling to her bed. April turns her attention back to the dark haired girl and opens her mouth to speak but thinks better of it. It's not time for that yet. "This is the dumbest experience of my life." Santana huffs flailing her arms in frustration.

"Whoa chillax chica. Maybe if we look back to one more moment, you will understand more." April tells her and places her drink back onto the dresser and motions for Santana to follow her. "And believe me, this memory is far from the dumbest."

"Understand more of what?" But before she can get any answer she and April are standing in Brittany's room, just the two of them.

She looks around but there's not Brittany and no other Santana. The sound of the window opening catches her attention and she watches her other self climb in with such ease. Other Santana doesn't look much different from herself now, so it's relatively recent. Other Santana looks around curiously and then she spots something on the bed, a note.

"You are 15 here Santana." April points out leaning her elbow on the dresser by the wall. "Brittany's gift this year totally blows you're Christmas kiss gift out of the water." She says with a giggle and points to the note other Santana is reading.

"_**Santana, Merry Christmas. You are my best friend. You are my everything. And I want to give you everything. Sit and wait for your present."**_ 2010 Santana says out of memory. She could not forget this Christmas even if she wanted to, though there is no reason in any shape or form she would choose to forget this particular Christmas.

15 year old Santana hesitates but then does as she is told in the process tossing her coat onto the chair near Brittany's bed. She places her gift for her friend to the floor and waits with her hands in her lap. Her eyes dart to the alarm clock to check if Brittany had set the alarm for 5am, and of course, she did and Santana smiles to herself. She is taken out of her musings when the bathroom door in Brittany's room opens slowly.

"Merry Christmas Santana." Brittany announces softly and Santana looks to the door a she speaks.

"Merry Christmas Br…" Santana stops talking and her jaw nearly hits the ground as her eyes fall upon the blonde before her. She quickly stands up and looks her best friend up and down. "Brittany you… you…" Brittany stands there in her bra, panties and a buttoned down shirt that is not so buttoned down. Santana swallows hard she is sure Brittany can hear.

"I've been thinking a lot lately, about everything. We talked about sex and you said I shouldn't just do it with someone random like you did. That I should wait until I found someone special and that I care about." Brittany steps closer and chews on her bottom lips nervously tugging at the bottom of the shirt.

"Yeah." Santana shakily lets out and she gasps as Brittany lays her fingers softly on her hand.

"You're my someone special San, I care about you more than I care about anything or anyone else." Brittany tells her honestly and she fully grasps her hand and pulls it to her bare skin. Santana lower lip quivers, she has no words, they escape her at the moment. "I want my first time to be with you." They stare at one another. Breathing becomes quicker and Santana can feel Brittany's heart racing under the palm of her hand. Santana licks her lips and her eyes dart quickly to Brittany's.

Her hand slides from the blonde's chest and up to her cheek and she swiftly moves in crashing their lips together. Brittany brings both of her hands to Santana's neck pulling her closer and deeper. The Latina grabs onto the button down shirt and gently slides it off of her best friend letting it fall to the ground. The blonde reaches for the bottom of Santana's shirt lifting it over her head and discarding it to the same place as her shirt. Her breath catches in her throat as she takes the time to pause and take in Santana's naked torso she hadn't been wearing a bra.

"Okay." April clears her throat and shields her eyes. "Even though I'm a figment of your imagination reality I'm pretty sure this is illegal." She motions with her head to the sexual activity of the teens and she walks towards the door. "I'll be raiding the liquor cabinet downstairs when you're done perving on yourself." She winks and is gone in the blink of an eye.

When she turns her attention back to last year's Christmas she finds her 15 year old self and 15 year old Brittany lying on the bed.

Santana hovers over Brittany placing soft and slowly paced kisses all over her torso while the blonde grabs at every bit of skin her hands and fingers can touch. After kissing her stomach for a while she kisses her way back up her chest, her throat, side of her neck, jaw line and finally her lips. She pulls the blonde up slightly so she can reach around and unclasp her bra that she tosses off of the side of the bed and gently places Brittany's head back down onto the pillow.

The room suddenly goes blank, then black, then white and fuzzy. 2010 Santana holds on to the wall expecting to be torpedoed back to her room circa 2010 but when the motion stops she is still standing in Brittany's room. She looks to the bed and she is fast asleep and Brittany is watching her and is brushing away stray hairs from her face.

"She watches you sleep a lot." April says sitting Indian style on the dresser behind Santana almost making her jump. Once processing what the blonde lady said she glares at her. "She tells you things too when you sleep. She actually says a lot."

"Why does she talk to me when I'm sleeping?" Santana wonders turning her attention back to Brittany wiping away sweat that is still glistening against her skin. April shrugs shaking her head.

"Maybe she thinks you listen better when you're asleep." April suggests. "Or maybe she's afraid of telling not sleeping you." Another side of the sword.

"You're beautiful." Brittany whispers and she glides the back of her index finger down sleeping Santana's forehead to the tip of her nose. "You're the best Christmas present I could ever ask for. Every day with you is like Christmas Santana." Her voice sounds so soothing to present Santana and she finds herself watching in awe as the blonde tells her how she feels, and she never knew. "You know what else?" Her voice gets a little softer that it is almost inaudible that Santana has to lean in closer just to hear her.

"This is hallmark status." April blurts out nearly ruining the moment but Santana ignores her. "Oh, sorry." She whispers.

"I love you." Brittany's voice is true and pure, honest. "I'm in love with you Santana Lopez. And I have been for a while. And one day I'll tell you." She nods to herself and giggles when sleeping Santana wraps her arms possessively around Brittany's waist pulling her closer. "I think you feel the same way."

"Oh." Santana breathes out and then like a rush she is thrown back into black and motion and jolting and next thing she knows she's in her room again.

"Oh?" April replies with a snort. "While you were sleeping post… you know, your best friend was confessing her love for you. Wow, I'm either sober or super drunk." The older blonde knits her eyebrows in confusion at the fact that she made sense for once.

"Yeah." Santana breathes out in the same bewildered manner as before. "I didn't know."

"How could you not? Are you blind or drunk?" April emphasizes drunk with her hand in turn spilling her drink onto Santana who doesn't even flinch at this point. "She offers herself, as a Christmas gift. She wanted her first time to be with you, her best friend in the whole wide world."

"Yeah, she trusts me." Santana points out and April rolls her eyes.

"Well, yes, but that's not the answer Santana." April walks over to beside the dresser and bends down retrieving a couple of bottles Santana hadn't even noticed. "Well, my job is done here. I've shown you all I could."

"Wait you're leaving?" Santana gasps jumping up from her seat on her bed. "What about me understanding. I don't understand. So she loves me, or loved me or whatever. My decision shouldn't change that." Santana pleads looking around her room wondering if her answers were possibly written on the walls. "She's with Artie now." She explains and April pauses at the door and focuses hard on Santana. "She's the one that made a choice first."

"The past has happened. And the things we've done are what shape the path in which we choose to walk upon." April hiccups after she finishes those words of wisdom. "I don't know what that means I read it from a fortune cookie." Santana stares at her longing for an answer that will not leave her confused. April scrunches her nose and twists her lips in thought and huffs. "Okay one more trip down memory lane to steer you in the right direction." Santana smiles gratefully. "Don't get too happy, you're not gonna like this one." She grabs Santana by the elbow letting the bottles fall to the floor.

April brings Santana back to Brittany's room. Instantly Santana picks up on several differences of this particular memory. It's the middle of the day, she and Brittany are both in their Cheerio's uniforms she turns to April in confusion.

"This isn't a Christmas memory." She points out and April shakes her head.

"Nope. But pay close attention because this is important." The older blonde woman tells her and nods back to the 2 cheerleaders canoodling on the bed. Santana looks back to her and Brittany, she can't quite place this moment, seeing as this had been a natural occurrence for them since last Christmas.

"I love your sweet lady kisses." Brittany hums out as Santana kisses her neck.

"Mhmm." Santana agrees into the taller girl's neck. She pulls away looking to Brittany and tucks her arm between their bodies. "It's a nice break from all that scissoring." Santana moves back in place pressing her lips back to the exposed skin.

"We should do a duet together." Brittany suggests and voyeur Santana cringes remembering this moment.

"I don't want to watch this." She grunts turning to April who is rifling through a huge purse that Santana hadn't noticed before.

"Where is it I know I put it in here." April grunts as her whole arm goes into the bag.

"We should sing Melissa Etheridge's 'Come to My Window'." Brittany sighs with a smile with Santana's lips on her still.

All Santana can hear is how nasty her words had come out to the blonde. She winces at the way she spits out a simple line she has used on so many guys, how she's 'like a lizard'. Her ears are tuned into her own voice but her eyes are focused on Brittany. As the words pour in panic out of Santana's mouth Brittany's face falls into a deep sadness.

"Aha!" April cheers in triumph and Santana notices a remote control in her hand. "This is why I love DVR." The blonde announces and pauses the scene before them and the Santana and Brittany on the bed are completely still.

"DVR? You DVR my life?" Santana asks quirking an eyebrow.

"Of course, it's LifeDVR." April rolls her eyes as though this is the most happening program in the world and everyone knows about it. "Look." She points back to the bed and rewinds a little.

"I'm not making out with you because I'm in love with you." DVR Santana practically shouts and then goes still as April pauses again.

"You are a big fat liar." The blonde woman says the motion capable Santana. "Look at your face. You can't even look at her when you say that." She shakes her head and then rewinds again a little bit. "Now watch Brittany's face." She presses play but puts it in slow motion. "Right here." She pauses once more. "You broke a piece of her heart."

Before Santana can even sigh, choke up, clear her throat or blink she is sitting there in her room with April staring at her through an empty bottle of Jack Daniels leaning her elbow on a box of wine.

"Why did you show me that?" Santana sniffs back tears rubbing the back of her hand to her eye to make sure nothing has come out.

"Because you needed to see." April explains matter of factly.

"See how I hurt my best friend by the crappy things I said to her." Santana huffs crossing her arms over her chest. "It's not like I really meant it. Obviously she knows I care about her."

"Does she?" April hops onto the bed beside Santana. "This is how I see it, but then again I'm an alcoholic so who knows if I can even walk a straight line right now let alone make any sense." She chuckles and then shakes her head to continue on. "Being scorned by her best friend, and from what we learned before, person she loves/loved, Brittany finds herself pained and in comes Artie. You told Artie that she had sex with him for his voice."

"Yeah so?" She shrugs not at all impressed with April's notes thus far.

"So she didn't, but now there is just a whole other can of worms." April shouts waving her arms in the air. "Let me dish it to you straight and in a bit of an inebriated way. The way Brittany took Artie's virginity, or rather the way he felt after you told him that she is linked to a million guys at the school. It made him feel as though his moment with her was meaningless." Santana shakes her head not understanding the older blonde's rant. "In simple terms, this is how you eventually made Brittany feel, inadvertently." Santana sits there pondering the words.

"Meaningless?" She looks to her hands shaking her head at herself. "Brittany is anything but meaningless."

"Since last Christmas have you showed her really anything to prove her differently?" April asks but before Santana can respond the lights flicker. "Uh oh, my time to go."

"No you can't leave yet." Santana protests jumping up and stopping the blonde woman from gathering her things. "Please just, show me one more thing, at least leave me with a good memory." She pleads and tiny tears form in the corners of her eyes. April twists her lips and looks around the room and glances to the clock.

"I am going to get in so much trouble for this." The older woman says softly and then slaps Santana's forehead with her hand. Santana's eyes shut tight at the contact.

"Ow!" She howls and her hand automatically goes to her head. "That was on called for." When she opens her eyes she notices she is outside again but not at her house or Brittany's. "Where am I?"

"I was just about to ask the same thing." April giggles lying finishing off her solo cup and letting it fall to the ground and then burping really loud and long. "Oh, excuse me." She blushes and covers her mouth after the fact. "We are at the park goof ball." She points over to the basketball court where 14 year old Santana is standing with a 14 year old Brittany.

"Hey Britt come here." Santana says quietly and offering her hand to the blonde. Brittany accepts it and steps closer to her friend. Santana reaches into the pocket of her jacket and pulls out something.

"What's that?" Brittany's eyes widen trying to figure out what is in Santana's hand.

"It's mistletoe." The Latina tells her simply and Brittany nods. "When two people are caught standing under mistletoe they have to kiss." She grins and lifts it above them. Brittany giggles and blushes a light tint of pink.

"San, you don't need an excuse to kiss me you know." The blonde informs her friend and Santana's face goes soft and her arm holding the mistletoe lowers. Brittany's giggle fades and she leans in to Santana and presses their lips together.

There is a crack, and then a flash of light and as before Santana finds herself standing in the middle of her room. Her lights flickering like crazy.

"Thank you." Santana whispers watching April packing her purse with what she has no idea.

"Of course sweet cheeks. But the other 'ghosts' might not be as accommodating." She informs the dark haired girl. She moves to pick up her bottles again and looks at one that's half empty and grins placing it in Santana's nightstand drawer. "For later to celebrate." She winks and then there's a loud bang, and the lights go out.

Santana eyes dart open and she is out of breath. She sits up in bed and as her breathing becomes more controlled she can hear the grandfather clock in the living room going off, signaling an hour. She turns to the clock and her eyes bug out.

"12:00am!"


	3. diva's of christmas present

**_okay, so in light of tonights episode which, though left me pretty happy there is still a hole in the shape of Brittana in my heart lol... also since it is december 1 here is another part of my tale. i hope you like the ghost..._**

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**diva('s) of christmas present**

"12:00am!" She shouts under her breath and falling back on her pillow.

Santana huffs and kicks her legs from under her covers. Clearly she has just experienced some strange dream world that trapped her in time. With a groan she rolls onto her side and sighs pulling the covers back over her head. But just as she is closing her eyes the lights flicker in her room and a strange sound resembling music is fading into her room. She can hear voices coming from outside her door causing her to sit up in bed. Her eyebrows furrow and she huffs continuing to toss in turn in her bed trying to block it out.

But the harder she concentrates on tuning it out the louder the sound becomes. She even tries pulling her pillow over her head and pushing it to her ears but it just doesn't help. The music sound now envelopes her room as though she were in a club or in the auditorium during a Glee performance. Her eyes open under the not so comforting place beneath the pillow and they dart from side to side as she recognizes the voices belting notes in her room. Hastily she rips the pillow off of her head and turns to face her bedroom door where the music is coming from which she has now come to figure out it Christmas music. She reaches over turning the light on and her face drops completely and she quirks an eyebrow. The music and the longest note in America finally comes to an end and she is being stared at.

"Seriously?" Santana growls sitting up a little straighter in her bed.

"Merry Christmas Santana." Rachel greets nodding her head graciously.

"Aren't you Jewish Berry?" Santana asks crossing her arms her glare firmly in place and Rachel smiles.

"Yes I am, however it does not stop me from taking part in celebrating the holidays. Christmas music allows me to shine like the star that I am. All the songs in Hebrew simply give me the opportunity to clear my throat several times in 2 minutes." She jokes and this actually makes Santana snort. Wow, she thinks, Rachel Berry actually made her laugh. She shakes her head at this prospect turning upright in her bed and placing her feet on the ground eyeing them up.

"I am assuming you know why we are here." Kurt states taking a seat at her computer desk crossing his legs and fixes his hair.

"Ghosts of Christmas present right?" Santana raises her eyebrows at her guess that is laced with mockery.

"Joke all you want Santana, but what we are compelled to show you may change your tune a bit." Rachel informs the Latina who stares blankly at her.

"How is it that I get stuck with you two as my 'ghosts'?" She inquires.

"Technically this is against code regulations." Rachel says. "I for one thought it seemed only fitting that I be your diva of Christmas present. Seeing as your present is filled with self pity and bitterness where as I, your extreme opposite, am full of optimism and light." She clarifies and this causes Santana to snort and turn her attention to Kurt for his explanation.

"I felt that in light of, certain feelings buried deep down for a certain blonde, I should be the one to take you on this journey." He explains to her and then glares at Rachel.

"In order for you to get the proper guide necessary for this exploration into the twisted life of Santana Lopez it seemed that the only way to come to a decision was to have yet another diva-off." She exclaims and grins at the girl. "It seems that the powers that be think Kurt and I would do more good together than solo."

"How ironic." Santana mumbles under her breath.

"Kurt just so you know I am more than happy to share the spotlight with you any day."

"As I with you, now down to business." He turns his attention back to Santana.

"I don't really get how much you can show me. It's 12:00am, everyone is sleeping." Santana explains rolling her eyes and falling back onto her bed.

"Some people yes." Rachel agrees nodding her head and then glances at Kurt. He clears his throat and hops off of Santana's desk.

"Technically though, in this situation we are allowed to show you the previous day, but only like two hours earlier." Kurt clarifies their 'ghostly' powers and this catches Santana's attention though she stays put in her laying position.

"Wouldn't that be the past?" Santana points out a small smirk playing on her lips. Rachel huffs walking over to grab the Latina's hands and picks her up from the bed. "Hey, no touching." She swats Berry's hands away from her.

"Well then get up and come with us." Rachel demands crossing her arms and tapping her foot. "We haven't got all night you know."

"I can't believe Rachel Berry is in my bedroom." The dark haired girl sighs.

Santana begrudgingly complies and gets to her feet rolling her eyes when she looks down to see she is in her Cheerio's uniform again. Kurt motions for her to join them by the door and when she gets close enough he opens the bedroom door. Walking through does not bring them into the hallway of her house but brings her into a bedroom of a house she doesn't know. Looking around she scrunches her nose at the poorly decorated room quickly picking up on the fact that it is a boy's room. Her attention is quickly caught by the sound of a boy's voice.

"I know we've only been dating for a few weeks but, I got you something for Christmas." Artie says wheeling over to his dresser opening up the top drawer and retrieving a small box neatly wrapped. Brittany smiles at how careful he places it on his lap, shuts the drawer and rolls back over to her. He goes to hand it to her but she waves it away and shakes her head.

"I can't." She tells him and he stares at her.

"But it's a gift." He assures her once again trying to push it on her.

"It's not Christmas yet Artie." He laughs and looks to the clock seeing that it is 11:00pm.

"Okay, well then stay until 12:00am, and then it will be Christmas." Artie explains to her and her eyes dart to the clock by his bed and she twists her lips softly shaking her head. "Why not?"

"Because..." Is all she says to him and Artie sighs looking to the gift in his hands resting on his lap.

"Why?" He asks her even though his face looks like he already knows. Santana darts between the two people that can't see her confusion set on her face. She glances behind her to where Kurt and Rachel are standing in the corner using light sabers as microphones not even paying attention. "I know she's your best friend." He shrugs placing the gift on to his bed. "But I'm your boyfriend." He tells her finally looking her in the eyes and she sighs. "Besides, she wasn't very nice to you when we first got together. She got me to break up with you." Brittany stands up with her hands on her hips and nods. All this is true.

"What the… I am seriously going to push this kid down the stairs." Santana huffs her eyes narrowing on the boy who can't see her.

"I know." Brittany mumbles looking down at her feet with guilt.

"Plus she hasn't been nice to you either since we started dating. I know you two have this thing you do every year, but you even said so yourself that she won't show." Artie points out and Brittany looks to him conflicted and Santana's eyes well up a little.

"I didn't say that exactly." Brittany tries to defend and her voice sounds so sad and unsure.

"Look, we both know how Santana is. She's selfish and over dramatic." Artie spits out making Santana's head jerk back at how her 'best friend' is letting her dumb boyfriend talk about her like that, even if it is true. Brittany stares at him, her eyes wide and her mouth slightly agape. "I'm sorry. Like I said, I know she's your best friend but you deserve better than the way she treats you sometimes." Santana's eyebrows furrow at his statement. "You're my girlfriend and I'm just looking out for you."

Santana stands there and watches as Brittany takes Artie's hand and as her mouth starts moving there's no sound. She looks around wondering what the hell has happened and why she can't hear what Brittany is saying. The room begins to fade away into blackness and this feeling she is becoming accustomed to takes her body over. At first she is pissed about being taken away from this scene because if Brittany is going to pick him over her then she wants to hear it for herself. But when she sees the blonde leaning closer to him her stomach lurches and she shuts her eyes. The sooner she got out of this present the happier she'd be.

"Truth hurts huh?" Rachel asks wandering around Santana's room glancing at photos on her bookshelf. Santana whips her head to the diva and scowls at her.

"Okay I'm selfish sometimes but that's because I pride myself in being number one." Santana explains herself. "But Artie is all wrong about me he doesn't even…"

"Can dish it but can't take it." Kurt adds looking in her closet. He pulls out a dress and holds it to the light to get a good look at it. At first glance he loves it but then he scrunches his nose at the article. "Ever hear of dry cleaning Santana?" He questions pointing out a stain. He rolls his eyes at her blank stare and puts it back on the rack.

"What was the point of showing me that? I mean, April told me that I made a decision tonight that could change everything." Santana starts and the two are listening but still walking around. "I'm assuming that this is a decision that I can alter or whatever somehow. Right?" She asks and they glance at one another pausing from their pacing. "Because I mean, by showing me that, you only showed me Brittany choosing speed racer over me and 9 years of special Christmases." Kurt takes a seat next to her and takes her hand.

"Perhaps what you saw is not what is seen." Kurt says and she sighs out, more of these riddles.

"_Maybe_ Brittany chose Artie but that shouldn't matter if you've already made your decision to make a decision." Rachel points out smiling at a picture in her hands.

"Well can I undo it if I want to?" Santana wonders looking from both of them who look like they were just asked the square root of 23842384. "I mean, I have time to change it right?"

"How about we take you to the almost now." Kurt offers waving his arm as if to express that the almost is now is a fabulous place to be then grabs a hold of Santana's arm and Rachel appears on her other side taking her other arm.

This time they walk towards the window and right when she blinks thinking they are going to hit the glass they stop walking. She opens one eye to make sure that they haven't tricked her and when she realizes where they are she opens her other eye. They are standing outside of Brittany's bedroom looking in from the window.

The blonde is sitting there concentrating hard at the task at hand. It seems as though she is trying to wrap a present and is finding it rather difficult at the moment. Brittany pauses and looks to her side table, perhaps to look at the time Santana thinks so she moves her eyes to see the time but the clock is turned from her view. But her hopeful thinking is flushed when she sees that Brittany only looks over to grab her phone. She is obviously reading a text message which Santana knows is not from her.

"Oh nice, so she's wrapping Artie's present and their texting about it or probably sexting which, ew just gross." Santana huffs and rolls her eyes turning away from the window. "I want to leave this 'almost' now, now." She marches away from the window but Kurt and Rachel grab her and spin her back around.

"You need to see this Santana. This is a little bit from now." Rachel tells her and points to the blonde girl on her bed still. But her position is slightly altered.

Her posture is slumped which is very different from before that was all straight and upbeat looking. Her head is in her hands and it looks as though she is crying.

"What did Artie do?" Santana hisses looking to her 'ghosts'.

"Notice how it's always someone else's fault Rach?" Kurt leans back to look at Rachel behind Santana.

"Kurt it's like you are speaking my very thoughts. We should probably do that thing that we're not supposed to do." Rachel whispers to Kurt but loud enough for Santana to hear he pulls back and nods once.

Before Santana can even argue she blinks and they are standing in the hallway of McKinley in the middle of the sea of students making their way to classes. They point down the hall and give her a slight push to walk in that direction. She hesitates, looking back to them and they nod for her to continue. As she walks with ease through the crowd she notices her blonde buddy standing at her locker furiously writing something down on a post-it.

Santana jumps a little when she hears the sound of Brittany's locker shut closed. The blonde stands there for a moment or two clearly in deep thought. She looks around her and when she is sure no one is paying attention she moves to stand in front of Santana's locker and she firmly presses the post-it sticky note to her locker. Brittany flattens it out with her hand letting it linger for a second longer than necessary before she walks away. After watching Brittany disappears down the hall and around the corner Santana moves to look at the note on her locker.

But before she can get close enough to read it a body goes slamming into her locker thus knocking the note to the ground and flies a little down the hall. She looks over to see Karofsky knocking a poor unsuspecting freshman down. The note goes along with the stupid jock as it seems to have stuck to the bottom of his shoe. Santana moves to chase after him and retrieve it but she is stopped by a force pulling her back until she is back in the darkness of her room.

"You two seriously suck." She spits out running her fingers through her hair.

"We've showed you too much already." Rachel explains to the fiery Latina but then glances to Kurt. "April has really got to stop drinking on the job this happens every time…"

"Bullshit, you've shown me nothing. I saw Brittany and Artie moments before a major grope fest, B getting ready for a sext filled night with dumbass on wheels and then a note that clearly doesn't matter or you would have let me read it." She shouts this time and Kurt's eyes widen where as Rachel covers her mouth in shock at the outburst. "Probably a note telling me not to come over." She rolls her eyes and throws herself onto her bed.

Santana tries closing her eyes in hopes to fall asleep from this awful dreamlike dreamless dream thing she is trapped in. But as she expected she could feel her body moving in that fast pace yet slow motion she's been going through all night long. She hears a familiar voice which is what prompts her to lift her head. The room she is in is familiar as well, but not one that she has visited tonight, or in a while for that matter.

She pushes herself up from the bed and looks over and finds that the voice is Quinn Fabray's. Quinn is on the phone and she seems to be in a really in depth conversation. For the most part Santana is only half listening as she wanders around the room becoming familiar with it once again. Her eyes cast over picture frames that hold many of her own memories. There are pictures of Glee, Cheerio's and several of Quinn, Santana and Brittany and a small smile forms over her lips. Her attention is brought back to the blonde in the room and she begins to pay more attention to the phone conversation, though she can only hear one end of it.

"No trust me I know for a fact that she feels the same way." Quinn assures whoever it is on the other end. "Yeah, she lied about sleeping with him but then she told you the truth, eventually yes." She nods her head agreeing with them. "Okay, but you kind of lied to her too. Well not kind of you did actually lie." Quinn explains and then it clicks in Santana's head who the blonde is talking to.

"Why am I eaves dropping on a phone call between Fabray and your boyfriend?" Santana asks knitting her eyebrows together. "That's not only borderline creepy but super stalkerish on your part." She explains and Rachel sighs and Kurt rolls his eyes.

"Sometimes you only see what you want to see Santana." Kurt tells the Latina and she shakes her head.

"See, I can't see anything all I'm doing is listening. And I'm only half listening." She yells waving her arms around and pointing to Quinn for emphasis.

"Okay, okay you didn't _lie_ to her but you haven't told her either." Quinn counters and it looks as though she is waiting on a response from the other end. "Hello? Oh alright, I think you should tell her? What's the worst that could happen?" Quinn bites her lip and looks at her nails waiting for the other person to finish talking. "Okay but if you keep this from her then you will never know how she is going to react and if you wait too long it might be too late." Santana walks to the door about to open it.

"This is ridiculous, if you are trying to make me feel guilty about taking Finn's V-card then you can forget about it Berry. I thought this was about fixing me." She shakes her head and turns the door knob. "Even in _my_ hallucinations Berry makes it about _her_." As soon as she steps out of Quinn's room she steps into her own room and stomps her feet at this seemingly never ending maze she has encountered this Christmas Eve.

"Clearly you don't understand this concept I may be me but I'm not me so this news to me has no affect on me. And though it may come as a shock to you I am aware that not everything is about me." Rachel tilts her head as she explains herself to the other girl. "I mean don't get me wrong most of the time it is but not all of the time." The diva turns to Kurt and crosses her arms over her chest. "Do you think that she is going to realize soon?" Rachel asks Kurt who is looking in the mirror fixing his eyebrows.

"Probably not until it's too late." Kurt sighs not tearing his gaze from himself. "But that's Santana Lopez for you act first think later and then fix everything much, much later."

"Fix? Kurt you're funny." Rachel giggles.

"You know I can hear you right?" Santana hisses slamming her bedroom door shut.

"Don't pay attention to her Rachel she's just mad because unlike the Cheerio's uniform she is destined to wear for the rest of her life, you actually have fashion sense in this reality." Kurt grins giving the diva a golf clap on her ensemble and she curtsies. "I'm convinced she is going to get married in that Cheerio's uniform."

"If she ever gets married. She's always scowling and glaring at everyone." Rachel pokes and the two chuckle at the Latina's expense.

"Seriously? You guys are telling me that since I decided to blow off a stupid thing me and B started when we were kids is going to ultimately lead me to being single for the rest of my life?" Santana snorts at the idiocy of it all. Rachel and Kurt look to each other and avert the Latina's icy stare. "You're kidding me right?"

"We are the ghosts of Christmas present and are not at liberty to inform you of anything that will be taking place in the near or distant future." Rachel clarifies their duties and that they must obeyed by them.

"Okay, so what now? Do we talk and share our feelings?" Santana mocks them and kicks her desk chair before pulling her hair from its tight regulation ponytail.

"If you want we can talk about how you feel of things that are happening or have already happened." Rachel explains and she and Kurt both take a seat on top of her desk crossing their legs waiting to hear the Latina spit out her emotions. She stares at them irritated before she finally gives in and takes a seat on her bed once again.

"Okay, so April took you to your first Christmas, your Christmas kiss gift, your, ahem, Christmas sex and the 'lizard' thing." Kurt checks off a list that he seemed to have pulled out of thin are.

"Yeah." Santana nods affirming their check list.

"So how did you feel when you saw your first Christmas with Brittany?" Rachel asks and Kurt now has a notebook and is prepared to take notes as though she is in therapy. Santana shrugs and thinks back to the memories she recently got to travel back to via a glass of champagne and a small smile tugs at the corners of her lips.

"Happy." She replies easily and they nod she notices Kurt furiously writing down notes. "I actually think I still have that bracelet somewhere." She muses trying to remember where she had placed that piece of her youth and that piece of Brittany.

"Okay happy, it's such a broad emotion." Rachel explains opening her arms to emphasize her words.

"Let's try the next one shall we?" Kurt offers and everyone agrees and Santana fidgets in her seat on the bed. "That Christmas when you were 14 and you kissed Brittany, what made you decide to give that to her as a Christmas gift?" Santana furrows her brow because she thinks it's pretty obvious why she would kiss Brittany. But she knew that the answer churning in her head is the wrong one.

"What Kurt is trying to ask is what feelings prompted you to do that? And how were you so sure that Brittany would accept?" Rachel elaborates.

"Well, I mean, when we were 13 is when I started sneaking into her room for Christmas and we slept in the same bed and then after that more of our sleepovers became more, cuddly." She uncomfortably answers breaking her gaze away from the diva. "I felt it and just felt that she felt it too."

"Felt what?" Kurt asks looking over his notebook to the Latina. She crosses her arms and her legs bouncing her knee nervously.

"I don't_ know_… feelings towards my best friend." Santana spits out quickly. Kurt sighs and places the notebook on his lap and runs his fingers through his hair. "Okay fine, I felt these feelings inside that I needed to be with her, like that, and I wanted to be with her like that. And I saw the way she looked at me and figured what the hell? She's Brittany and even if she doesn't feel the same way she will over look that and we can continue being best friends." Santana blurts out placing her head in her hands.

"But…" Rachel leans in waiting for her to figure it out.

"But she did." Santana sighs dropping her hands and dipping her head.

"She did what?" Kurt once again scribbling away.

"She felt the same way." She whispers looking back up to the two staring down at her.

"And that brings us to section 3, the infamous giving away of virginity on Christmas of 2009." Kurt announces turning a page as if glancing at some bullet points from an outline. Santana quickly wonders if April was taking notes during their 'journey' but quickly shakes that off remembering how the woman was too busy mixing drinks.

"Brittany gave herself to you." Rachel recites from the page. "Telling you that you are her everything and that she wants to give you everything. She told you that she wanted her first time to be with someone special and that you were that person." She looks back to Santana from the paper to confirm the facts and the Latina nods. "And then whilst you slept your best friend tells you she loves you."

"Yes, you already know everything I don't know why you are interrogating me like I'm on trial here." Santana shouts jumping up from her spot on the bed and paces around her room.

"Well according to our records after Brittany gave herself to you, to which you accepted, you went off and had several one night stands and other short lived sexual affairs with many boys from school." Rachel continues to read off the facts like they were on the side of a cereal box and Santana stops in her tracks and scowls at the girl.

"Which brings us to section 4 paragraph 2.2; 'I'm like a lizard I need something warm…' yada yada you know the rest." Kurt shuts the notebook and tosses it to the side. "What is not clear is how you could take your friends virginity, knowing it was so important to her to share that piece of her with _you_, yet you can turn around and tell her that she is only there when Puck isn't available." Rachel raises an eyebrow to Santana waiting for an answer.

"I don't see how my sexual escapades factor into this. Brittany knows as well as me that we sleep around with guys to maintain our reputation." Santana fires back the other two shake their heads. "Besides she knows what she means to me." Her eyes dart from Rachel to Kurt who are looking questioningly to each other.

"Does she?" Rachel finally breaks the awkward stare down of silence.

"She has to know." Santana tells herself more than she is telling Rachel or Kurt.

"How is she supposed to know if all you do is push her away the closer she gets?" Rachel states and Kurt 'mhmm's' in agreement.

"I do not push her away." Santana defends.

"Oh really? After that comment in her room she went off and found Artie." Kurt says and Santana cringes at the sound of his name.

"You got jealous and broke them up." Rachel adds.

"But while they were broken up you did nothing." Kurt interjects. "You had your moment and did nothing."

"And now you decided to put a stop to a 9 year tradition and expect it to not have any consequences?" Rachel shouts loudly exhausted by the Latina now.

"You're right." Santana sighs defeated. "She's with Artie now and if I'm really her friend I'll stand by her and let her be happy." The two divas shake their heads clearly not agreeing but this goes unseen by Santana who has her head in her hands.

"Is that all you want to be with her?" Kurt asks getting her to finally look up. "Just friends?" Santana smirks and shakes her head.

"No… best friends." She corrects herself looking back down at her hands. "She's my best friend and I love her and I want her to be happy." Kurt beams at Rachel who also is flashing her award winning smile. He pauses when there is a ringing noise and he reaches into the breast pocket of his suit jacket retrieving his phone.

"Yes? Mhmm. Very good." He looks to Rachel and gives her a nod. "April said that we have to go now."

"Okay we're done here." Rachel announces hopping off of the desk and Santana flips her head up in confusion.

"What?" She asks incredulously.

"You are now slowly beginning to understand and the answers are coming out." Kurt winks lightly tapping her arm with his fist.

"Wait that's it? 3 random trips and a therapy session and that's it." She throws her hands up. "At least April the lush had some wisdom to bestow upon me." She grunts and waves them away.

"Santana you must learn to control your temper better. All I said was that we are done _here_ so if you follow us we shall take to a moment happening at this very moment." Rachel extends her hand to the Latina who hesitates for a second before reaching out.

This time they head to the closet where Kurt is making a space for them to walk through pushing aside Santana's close. She eyes them both up before she takes the lead and walks through putting her hands in front of her expecting to walk into the wall. When her hands come in contact with a flat surface she almost stops but she pushes slightly and it gives way moving open as a door would.

As she walks through she realizes where she is, she has been here once tonight and only wonders why she is being taken back. She looks around when she hears rustling of paper. There on the floor next to her bed is Quinn Fabray wrestling with some wrapping paper and several boxes surrounding her. Santana's eyebrows furrow as she steps further into the room watching the girl carefully.

"Great Quinn wrapping presents. It's all clear to me now." Santana sarcastically spits rolling her eyes and crosses her arms glancing to Kurt and Rachel.

"Do you have a snarky comment about everything?" Kurt muses and Santana merely glares at him. "Right never mind." He nods trying to break her icy stare.

"I don't understand how this moment in time pertains to me. Like I told April earlier we stopped celebrating Christmas with Quinn like a while ago." She shrugs shifting her weight to one foot.

"Exactly." Rachel states and Santana whips her head to the girl arching an eyebrow. "You stopped but Quinn never did." The diva explains and points to the blonde.

"Wait, Brittany still did?" Santana questions jerking her head back at the surprising news.

"Of course she did. She's Brittany." Kurt replies quickly.

Quinn puts a neatly wrapped gift to the side of her and moves the wrapping paper out of the way. She moves to her hands and knees and reaches and arm under her bed and slowly pulls out a box sliding it in front of her. Santana's eyebrows knit together and she watches the blonde open the box and carefully lays the lid to the side of it. Quinn puts her hand in the box and pulls out what appears to be a Barbie doll and brings it up to her eye level. The Latina drops her arms from her chest and crouches down to get a better look at the doll in the blonde's hand.

"I gave that to her." Santana whispers smirking at the Barbie in a cheerleading uniform. "I can't believe she still has it."

She watches the blonde put it on the lid which is still to the side of the box and Quinn grabs a few photos and begins to flip through them. Santana takes this moment to peer into the boxes other contents. There are two other neatly wrapped gifts inside with her name on them. Next to the packages was a small stack of envelopes.

"Can I touch them?" Santana asks as she goes to reach into the box. Kurt nods and Rachel looks away with sadness in her eyes.

The dark haired girl pulls out the stack of envelopes that are sealed, addressed but clearly not sent. There are about a dozen of them and they are all addressed to Santana Lopez. 2 holiday colored, 2 with balloons drawn on them which she assumes are birthday cards and about 5 other plain white envelopes.

"She wrote me letters?" She asks seemingly confused and glancing quickly to the two ghosts who shake their heads yes. "What do they say?" She wonders out loud wanting to desperately tear them open but something tells her that she is not supposed to so she only stacks them back together and places them neatly where she found them.

"She never wanted you guys to stop being friends." Kurt tells the girl who is watching Quinn's face make small smiles as she looks at the photos.

"She misses you." Rachel says. "You 3 were best friends and then all of a sudden poof you aren't. You and Brittany left her. Brittany didn't know any better but you did."

"But you just said Brittany and Quinn still exchanged gifts, how did Brittany leave her?"

"She goes the same time you guys used to go. It's tradition." Rachel explains as if it is as clear as day. "Even though they share that tradition every year it doesn't change how every other day of the year goes."

"Sure they talk, but not when you're around because Brittany doesn't want to upset you." Kurt informs her.

"Okay but I still don't understand what Quinn has to do with Brittany." Santana admits turning her head to Rachel and Kurt. "I mean, how does my friendship with Quinn affect my relationship with Brittany?"

"Did April show you anything?" Rachel stomps her foot and crosses her arms over her chest and Kurt shakes his head rubbing the bridge of his nose. Before this conversation can continue there's a beep and Rachel pulls out her cell phone and checks what Santana can only assume is a text message, which only makes her wonder what kind of service plan these 'ghosts' have. "They say we have to go see Brittany." Rachel snaps her phone shut looking to Kurt who goes to Santana and helps her back to her feet leaving Quinn who is placing yet another unopened gift into the box of memories of the friendship she used to have with Santana.

Instead of using the closet which Santana can only assume is the way back to her bedroom they walk out of Quinn's bedroom door only to be led outside and in front of Brittany's bedroom window. The blonde is sitting on her bed with her hands on her lap staring blankly at the window. She looks over her shoulder to the clock behind her on her nightstand before she sighs and gets up from her bed walking over and grabbing her cell phone. Brittany soon has the phone to her ear making her way to the window and leaning her forehead against it staring off into the whiteness that is the side of her yard.

Her lips are moving a mile a minute and she looks antsy which is making Santana antsy wanting to know what she is saying. But when she turns to ask Rachel and Kurt she notices them at the house next door singing Christmas Carols to the neighbors. She rolls her eyes and moves closer to the window in hopes of hearing anything escaping the blonde's lips.

But as she takes a step Brittany leans back taking her head off of the window and looks down at her phone that she flips shut staring at it. Hastily she pulls it back open looking at it for a few moments before she shakes her head closes it and lifts her gaze back to the window. Her lips move again for a second and she lifts her hand to the window pressing her palm to it before she turns away heading to her bed and shutting off her light.

"Don't you just feel rejuvenated after a good carol Kurt?" Rachel asks beaming at the boy standing beside her and the two are now behind Santana.

"I think joyful is the proper terminology Rachel." He corrects her with a wink. "But yes, it makes me feel like I could run a marathon if I were into that kind of bodily exertion." Santana turns around swiftly shaking her head at the two of them and brushes past them heading down the block back to her house.

"I don't understand!" The Latina yells stopping in the middle of the street spreading her arms out and lifting her head to the sky. "You are only showing me things half assed. At least April had that DVR shit." She shouts at Kurt and Rachel who are now standing in front of her in the middle of the street standing under an umbrella to shield their hair from the falling snow.

"This is the now we can't pause it because then that'd be the past." Kurt tries to explain but Santana huffs and stomps her feet into the snowy pavement.

"You guys haven't really been following protocol here. You brought me to the other day at school, the almost here and the just before." Santana hisses her fists bunching up at her sides.

"Well that is only because your guide for the past was a slightly intoxicated Santana." Rachel reminds her making a drinking motion with her hand.

"Everything with Brittany is muted or fuzzy and I don't get it. Then there's Quinn and that only makes me more confused." She sighs out in frustration relaxing her hands and her jaw letting her eyes fall to the ground. "If Brittany didn't think I was coming, like Artie said she said, then she obviously doesn't care because she would have just come to my house and I wouldn't be here." Santana lets out bringing her glassy eyes up to the diva's who can only watch her. "But obviously she doesn't." Kurt side eyes Rachel who looks fully back at him both with worry on their faces. They glance around them before turning back to Santana and quickly shaking their heads in response.

"However, I do recall Brittany saying she did not say that exactly." Rachel interrupts.

"Maybe not exactly, but it's not that difficult to assume what Brittany is trying to say." Santana mumbles kicking some snow.

"If that's the case then how come you didn't know she loved you?" Kurt challenges but Rachel covers his mouth with her hand.

"Okay come on we must go back to Santana's bedroom it's almost time." Rachel chimes in twirling the umbrella around them and they're back in her bedroom in a flash.

"Almost time for what?" Santana asks walking over to her bed and taking a seat.

"For us to go." Kurt tells her brushing off some snow from his jacket.

"Seriously? I haven't figured anything out and you guys are just going to leave? Just like that?" She jumps back up to standing position. Rachel walks up to her taking her hand and placing hers into Santana's.

"There's nothing else that we can show you." The diva shrugs her shoulders and removes her hand and Santana looks down to her own hand seeing a small gold star sticker in her hand.

"You could at least tell me more." She demands glancing up from the stupid sticker in her hand. "Instead of giving me a gold star for being a good little girl." Santana blurts sarcastically with a dash of bitterness. They walk towards the door and Santana drops to the bed once more. "Fine, just go." Kurt and Rachel pause at the door and look to the girl.

"Sometimes our best friend in the world is truly the only one who knows what makes us happy, even when we can't see it ourselves." Kurt prophesizes and Santana only glares at him.

"That is the lamest thing I've ever heard." She closes her eyes wishing them to leave already.

"If one lives by fear and fear alone then one never truly lives. If one never truly lives they never truly love. Then I fear they shall only know living alone." Rachel says as her hand grabs onto the door knob and as Santana goes to speak the brunette beats her to it. "The 'fear' I speak of… is love."

The doors open and Rachel and Kurt vanish onto the other side of the door. Santana eyes close and hear the sound of the grandfather clock in her living room.


	4. guide to christmas future

**_hello... chapter 4 is here for you peeps. now the 'ghost' may totally come from left field but it felt right for several reasons. but i will not bore you with those reason and just let you read on:)_**

**_i hope you enjoy it so let me know what you think of the 'ghost(s)' that visit in here. :) after this will be one more final chapter._**

**_review:):)_**

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The sound of the grandfather clock in her house echoes in her room and she groans at the sound. She rolls over taking her chances at looking at the clock dreading to read it already having a feeling of what time it is going to tell her it is.

"12:00am of course."

Santana groans and rather than try and rid her of the notion that this night has been all a dream she rolls on her back staring at her ceiling through the darkness. She contemplates waiting for the loser of Christmas future to come storming into her room in a very Berry and Kurt fashion or even randomly plop on her bed as April Rhodes had done. But maybe this is her chance to change something. Her eyes flicker from side to side as the silence takes over and the dark room allows her to sink deeper into her thoughts.

It takes one thought to shoot her up from her bed and heading out of her bedroom running through the hall to her front door. The snow is slightly slippery under her sneakers but she manages to get down the walkway without falling and begins to sprint down the street. Her destination being that blonde haired girl that's lived only 2 seconds away if running at full speed, she needed to fix things and set them right. She isn't about to have to go through another agonizing eternity, as it had felt, of seeing Brittany as a mere spectator.

She rounds the house to the side where Brittany's bedroom window is and as she is about to put her hands to the glass and lift it up she stops. Her eyes are locked on two figures in the bedroom, on the bed, one of them blonde. She would be jealous if the other person in the room hadn't been Kurt. They are sitting on Brittany's bed clearly in a heated conversation about something and the blonde looks upset. Santana didn't know that Brittany even talked to Kurt after she tried to seduce him that one time when he tried to be straight for his dad.

Regardless of the obvious intimate friendship situation going on Santana taps on the window not wanting to interrupt any conversation, or maybe wanting to. But her tapping goes ignored. She scrunches her eyebrows together and taps again. Still nothing, the two people inside continue on their conversation. So she knocks with her full fist on the glass.

"She can't hear you." A soft voice from out of nowhere comes from behind her making her turn around.

"Ms. Pillsbury?" Santana asks clearly confused staring at the woman bundled up in a white coat with matching hat scarf and gloves. She turns her body fully to the woman who nods offering a tentative smile.

"Welcome to your future Santana." Emma tells her and takes a small step towards the Cheerio.

"Wait, let me get this straight? You're my ghost of Christmas future?" She inquires quirking an eyebrow and crossing her arms. The guidance counselor smiles confidently this time shoving her hands into her coat pockets.

"It was either me or Sue Sylvester but Kurt and Rachel adamantly requested you get someone with more patience and a working heart." Emma explains and then looks to the side clearly in thought. "And also someone who did not have a substance abuse problem." She finishes shrugging her shoulders at that last part, because let's face it, Emma Pillsbury might not have substance abuse problems but she had problems.

"Right." Santana draws out tearing her gaze away from the woman. "Okay show me the 'horrible' future I'm going to have." Santana rolls her eyes and brushes past Emma.

"Now what makes you think it's going to be horrible?" Ms. Pillsbury asks in a hurried kind of way catching up to Santana's quick pace. She stumbles back slightly when the Latina comes to a halt and turns to her.

"Look pine-sol lady, we're not in school and I'm not in the guidance office so stop trying to psychoanalyze me." Santana spits out and Emma looks away from her stare taken a bit back by the harshness of her voice. "Kurt and Rachel of Christmas present were not the least bit subtle with the hints they dropped. I chose not to go to Brittany's and I know that she doesn't come looking to find out why." She huffs and goes back to storming off into the falling snow that is clouding their street.

Emma stands in the middle of the road watching the young girl walk away from her with a metaphorical cloud over her head. She reaches deeper into her pocket, her glove clad hand gripping onto the cell phone perfectly stowed away in there. But instead of pulling it out and making the call she takes a deep breath and loosens her grip and begins walking in the same direction Santana is heading.

Santana gets into her room and it is only then that she realizes that she is in her Cheerio's uniform. She sighs and chuckles in a not so amused manner at the fact that she hadn't even noticed her outfit prior to her trip to Brittany's. She closes her bedroom door and when she turns around she finds the guidance counselor standing in the middle of her bedroom in her normal dorky school wear. For a moment Santana questions whether Ms. Pillsbury and Berry are related considering their atrocious sense of fashion.

"We haven't got much time here Santana there is much I need to show you." Emma says and Santana shakes her head rolling her eyes and falls onto her bed.

"Just give me the cliffs notes version Ms. P." She muffles into the pillow. After a few seconds of silence Santana hears some strange noises and lifts her head to investigate. "What the hell are you doing?" She asks while watching Ms. Pillsbury cleaning her desk with spray and some paper towels suddenly now sporting some yellow rubber gloves.

"Oh I figured I'd keep myself busy." The woman answers simply still cleaning away. "I find your stubbornness exhausting Santana and am more than prepared to wait for you to…"

"What is it that you are going to show me anyway? Brittany and Artie getting married and having a million kids? Me alone and fat because I was mean in high school?" Santana says in monotone obviously not really all that interested. Emma straightens up and puts the bottle down along with the paper towel roll and removes her gloves.

"That is not only unrealistic but also very depressing." Emma points out shaking her head. "I will show you what could happen if you don't fix it." She motions for Santana to follow her to the bedroom door from which she had only come through minutes ago.

Emma takes out a small to-go Lysol bottle and sprays the door knob before reaching out and turning it making Santana snicker. When they walk through they are standing in the hallway at McKinley, the hallway crowded with a steady flow of traffic and in front of them Santana and Brittany at their lockers.

"This is a few days after you get back from Christmas break." Emma breaks their silence and Santana turns to look at her just in time to catch her squirting anti-bacterial liquid into her hand.

Future Santana and Brittany are standing beside each other in a very awkward and tense silence. Both are going through the motions of exchanging their books for their next class obviously avoiding any form of contact from the other. Now Santana watches herself carefully hesitate at her locker after zipping up her back pack and slinging it over her shoulder. Her hand goes to the locker door and it lingers there not yet ready to close it because it is shielding her from the blonde's piercing blue eyes.

But the blue eyes aren't noticing her. They are fixed on the task at hand shoving random books into her bag. Brittany mirrors Santana's position with her hand on her locker and present Santana can sense a little hesitation in her friend. Its short lived but its there. Brittany closes her locker and stands there, as if giving Santana a moment to do something, anything even.

Santana looks as though she is about to turn to face the blonde but Brittany has already started walking away. Santana jerks her body in the opposite direction and as she is slamming her locker shut and in the midst of the start of a storm off the blonde girl pauses and turns back around. But she is only in time to watch Santana walk down the hallway leaving Brittany standing there watching her longingly.

"This doesn't make sense." Santana turns to face Ms. Pillsbury. "Me and Brittany have had random fights here and there and we always make up. There's no way we would stop talking all together." Santana points out and Emma twists her lips bouncing from heel to toe.

"Santana, this is not comparable to the time you accidently drowned Brittany's imaginary friend in the shower or the time you melted her crayons to make a candle. It's not even close to the time when you wouldn't sing a duet with her." Emma tries to explain to the Latina and perhaps it is working because Santana now looks off and it seems that she is trying to gage this situation. "You broke a 9 year tradition."

"Because Brittany is with Artie and it's not the same as it used to be." Santana hisses.

"You are only half right." Ms. Pillsbury informs her making Santana think about which one she got right and as she is about to ask the counselor walks off and disappears in the sea of students.

The lights flicker in the hallway and when she looks down from them she sees that the hallways is now completely empty leaving her all by herself. She isn't sure if she is supposed to go and find the guidance counselor or stay put but her thoughts are interrupted by the bell ringing and with a flash of white light blinding her, her body experiences that motion that lets her know she's about to see something else. As everything comes back into focus they are standing back in the hallway of McKinley.

"This is your senior year." Emma whispers and points to the end of the hallway where Brittany is walking towards them, alone.

"She looks lost." Santana acknowledges.

Brittany is not paying attention to the people around clearly in her own head. She spots Quinn walking the opposite way and as they pass each other Quinn merely glances at the other blonde while Brittany is oblivious. Quinn continues to walk down the hall without the slightest bit of hesitation.

"What the hell? I thought they were friends." Santana questions looking over at Ms. Pillsbury who bites her lower lip to avoid answering.

"Just watch Santana."

"Hey moron." Karofsky yells as he and Azimio toss slushies at Brittany covering her from head to toe. Santana's eyes widen and her mouth drops but no matter how hard she tries to run over to Brittany her body won't move. The blonde stands there as still as can be her books still firmly clutched to her chest and her head hangs as the boys continue to spit out degrading words.

"Since when does Brittany get slushied?" Santana whips her head back to Emma and the woman shrugs her shoulders.

"Since you weren't around to protect her." Ms. Pillsbury informs her shaking her head.

"Well what about Quinn?" The Latina hisses pointing to the end of the hallway where the other blonde had disappeared at the end of the hallway. "Kurt and Rachel told me that Quinn and Brittany still speak and that they are still close and… well, why isn't _she_ there for Britt?"

"Let's find out together." Emma suggests and turns to walk away from the slushy clad Brittany. Santana takes one last sad look at her best friend before turning around to follow the guidance counselor down the hallway.

When they round the corner Santana picks up quickly that they are no longer at school they are at a house party. Not just any house party but Puck's house party. Some people are dancing, others in the corner leaning against the walls trying not to fall on the floor and the music almost drowns out the voices. Santana wonders why in the world a party at Puck's can give her the answer to the Quinn/Brittany fallout. She glances over to Emma who she had felt stay beside her and notices the woman in a clear raincoat with the hood over her head and plastic gloves on. Santana rolls her eyes and smirks completely not at all surprised.

What she is surprised by is the quickly forming circle in the living room. The crowd pushes in on them cheering on whatever is going on. Santana pushes her way through the flying elbows and moving arms until she finally makes it to the center and her eyes widen. It appears as though she and Quinn are in a very physical altercation and spewing out harsh words, she can only assume the words are nasty due to the reactions of both girls.

"Oh wait." Emma suddenly appears beside her in the blink of an eye. She reaches into the pocket of her rain coat and whips out the same remote control that April had. She rewinds it a little bit to where the fight actually begins and when she pauses it turn the remote to the other kids at the house and presses mute. "Okay now listen carefully Santana because I can only show you this once." Emma presses play and Santana can only hear her and Quinn's voices.

"Sam told me what you tried to do." Quinn yells over the music which is currently inaudible so her voice is louder than necessary and makes present Santana wince. She darts her eyes to her future self who shows no remorse for whatever it is she did.

"Oh yeah he didn't seem to be complaining." Santana hisses back taking a step towards the blonde opening her arms as if in challenge.

"Does the fact that he pushed you away from him escape your memory?" Quinn wonders incredulously.

"That's what you think. I'm pretty sure I still have his paw prints all over me." Santana spits out looking down at her chest and crossing her arms glaring at the blonde.

"You're a liar." The blonde shouts.

"Maybe I am maybe I'm not."

"What is your problem?"

"Umm, gee Quinn maybe the post partum is still affecting your memory. I still haven't forgotten about you spilling my summer surgery to Coach." Santana takes another step forward.

"Get over yourself Santana, this isn't about your boob job. You just can't stand to see anyone else happy. So you're going to ruin it for everyone else first Finn and Rachel and now me and Sam… who's next?" Quinn screams taking a step towards the angry Latina and puts her hands on her hips in standoff position. And then with a quieter voice Quinn says something that sends the other girl into a frenzy. "Who's next S? Artie and Brittany?" The blonde arches an eyebrow and in the same nanosecond Santana's hands reach up to her blonde hair and they start wrestling for dominance.

"Get off of me you stupid whore." Santana yells thrashing Quinn's head back and forth.

"You don't care about anyone but yourself." Quinn shrieks as one of the Latina's hands move from her hair and to her Cheerio's top pulling at it.

"You're one to talk." Santana spits in a grunt. "Throwing me under the bus so you get head cheerleader back." The girls tumble to the floor with Santana on top of Quinn trying to push her arms down and pin them with her knees but is finding it difficult.

"You throw everyone under the bus Santana." Quinn manages to free a hand and slap the Latina across the face only making her angrier. "That's why you don't have any friends left." The blonde screams at the top of her lungs flipping them over so she is now on top of Santana. She grabs Santana by her wrists pinning them to the side of her head. "You had two but you pushed us out of the way so you could be Coach Sylvester's favorite." She shouts while Santana tries to fight her off.

"Get off of me." Santana groans.

"Nobody likes you Santana." Quinn lowers her face to lock eyes with Santana as she tells her the unbearable truth Santana already knew. "And you know it and that's why you are such a bitch."

"I don't really care if you like me teen mom." The Latina tries to use her legs to kick the blonde off of her.

Finally someone comes in and breaks up the fight and the other flash of blonde catches present Santana's eye. It's Brittany and she's helping Quinn to her feet trying not to look at future Santana. After she gets up Quinn rips her arms from Brittany's grasp and her eyes flicker between both girls as she back's up from the middle of the circle. Before she turns to leave she looks Santana dead in the eye.

"By the way," Quinn says and her voice is laced with venom and she is out of breath. "I never told Coach about your 'summer surgery'." She uses air quotes. "I wouldn't do that to you." She turns to look at the other blonde who is looking at the floor now. "Why don't you ask Brittany?" And with that Quinn turns around and walks through the circle that is now slowly breaking away.

Future Santana stares at Brittany who sighs, shakes her head and then pushes her way through the sea of people. Present Santana watches as Brittany leaves the party slamming the door behind her and when she turns back around she sees that she is back in her own bedroom sitting on her bed.

Santana sits there and stares at the wall and Emma stands at the foot of her bed nervously watching her. She sees the girl's mouth open to speak but only a sound from her throat comes out and she quickly closes it along with her eyes.

"That was what the end of this year will be like." Emma chances breaking the silence and Santana slowly turns her head to the woman and glares at her.

"Brittany told?" Santana asks sounding exhausted and on the verge of tears. Emma takes in a deep breath.

"No." She responds and Santana quirks an eyebrow. "Well technically no." Ms. Pillsbury corrects herself only making Santana stare at her more strangely. The girl mouths 'what' not being able to find her voice. "Long story short, Brittany and Quinn were discussing it in the locker room and Sue happened to over hear them." She simply explains and Santana hands her head in her hands. "Completely unintentional." The Latina sighs and nods. She was over the spilling of her surgery apparently her future self uses it as ammo to start fights.

"Is that why Quinn and Brittany stop talking?" She inquires and Emma nods again.

"Because of you." Ms. Pillsbury tells her further. "Quinn was right when she said you push everyone away. You don't let anyone get close to you because, well, you know why." Her voice trails off and she neatly clasps her hands at her waist.

"I let Brittany close to me." Santana says looking down at her own hands.

"Only so close." Emma takes a step towards the bed only to bend down and fix the comforter so it looked neater.

"So what?" Santana shouts jumping up from the bed startling the other person in the room. "I keep people at arm's length because no one can ever live up to expectations."

"When was it that Quinn let you down?" Ms. Pillsbury asks her locking her doe eyes into those brown ones. "And when was it that Brittany let you down?"

"That's different. Brittany has Artie." Santana exhales and slumps her shoulders. "Brittany has Artie and she's happy with him."

"Once again Santana, you are only half right. Now let's go for another glimpse into the what could be." Emma offers gesturing to the door.

This time Santana opens the door not wanting to have the Lysol taste in her mouth this time. When they step through the door she and Ms. Pillsbury are standing in the aisle of a moving greyhound bus. She looks over her shoulder to the counselor who nods for her to continue forward and take a seat. There are only two open seats which Santana let's Emma take the window seat. So much for avoiding the Lysol, before she knows it the ginger haired woman is spraying the seat practically coating it in a light mist. She reaches in her pocket pulling out a large piece of plastic covering up the seat before sitting down.

The sound of the bathroom door in the back shutting catches Santana's attention on a rather quiet bus. She takes a look and spots a slightly older and very sad looking Quinn Fabray. Her eyebrows knit together as she watches the girl walk down the aisle and takes a seat on the other side of the aisle next to hers and Emma's.

Santana observes the blonde's fidgety behavior quirking an eyebrow as Quinn's fingers making long red marks on her arm as she scratches.

"Umm, what's Quinn's deal? What year is this?" Santana asks turning to look at Ms. Pillsbury who has a face mask on. The woman lowers it so that Santana can hear her speak.

"This would be two years after High School." She points out.

"So what is Quinn on her way home from college or something?" The Latina inquires further and glances back at the blonde.

"Quinn went to college for a semester before she dropped out." Ms. Pillsbury breaks the extremely awkward silence and she senses the Latina beside her tense up in question. "She had a breakdown at school and was sent to a hospital."

"A breakdown?"

"Santana, Quinn never got over the fact that she had given up her baby back in high school." Emma says softly catching Santana's eyes on hers again. "Sure she had Brittany for a while to talk to, but Brittany could only comfort her so much. You know Brittany, sometimes in serious situations she doesn't really know what to say." She exclaims nervously and Santana nods in agreement.

"Great, so I ruined Quinn's life." Santana mocks with sadness in her eyes.

"Ruined is such a harsh word but if I'm being honest, you not being around didn't help very much." Ms. Pillsbury tells her. "For some reason or another, regardless of your fights and bickering Quinn always hoped and thought you two would become friends again." Emma looks up as the bus comes to a stop and turns to Santana. "This is our stop come on." They leave the bus and when they step out they are in a night club.

They walk through the small crowd and it only takes Santana a few moments to realize that this is a gentleman's club. When she looks to her side she sees Emma in the same clear rain coat she had been wearing when they went to Puck's party earlier tonight. The guidance counselor stops catching Santana off guard and halts too.

"Go through there." Ms. Pillsbury points to a room that is just beyond a small entrance covered with a red curtain.

Santana stares at it for a few moments before she swallows and heads over. She squints as the blinking bright lights dare to blind her and brushes past drunken business men slapping the ass of some waitress. Her hand reaches out to push the curtain aside and she is met with heavy smoke clouding the room and crowding her sense of smell as well. This room is a little darker than the bigger one and with less colorful lights, instead it is lit up with a dim white light and soft, slowly beating blue and green lights.

To her left is a long couch with 2 businessmen sitting on them getting lap dances from what Santana can only assume are strippers seeing as the men are slipping money in their g-strings. To her right is a small bar with more businessmen types talking to girls who have their hands on the guy's laps rubbing inappropriately in public. In the corner by the bar is a big guy standing with a stone cold look on his face. He must be the bouncer, Santana thinks as her attention is brought to the other side of the room when she hears a familiar voice.

She unglues herself from the spot and follows the voice down a small hallway. This hallway is decorated with several doors on both sides and she furrows her eyebrows in wonder as she realizes where exactly she is. Santana stumbles back a little when a door flies open and an older man in a nice suit comes flying out. He seems to be in a rush, probably to get back to the office but before he fully walks out the door he turns back around pulling his hand out of his pocket tossing some money on the ground.

"Thanks." He mumbles and finally leaves.

Santana pokes her head into the room to find Brittany sitting on a very messy bed with the covers up to her waist and her knees to her chest. Santana's jaw falls at the sight of her normally perfectly groomed Brittany finding the blonde in complete disarray. She watches as those blue eyes that used to be so full of light and promise now look so sad and void of anything remotely close to happiness or optimism.

Brittany takes a breath in and walks over to the door shutting it and making a point to lock it. She leans her back against the door and shuts her eyes tightly letting herself slide down the door and to the ground. The blonde breaks down into sobs as she reaches the ground pulling her knees up to her chest again and hugging them close to her body.

Santana closes her eyes and covers her ears with her hands.

"I want to leave I want to leave." She shouts. "I need to get out of here." She yells louder and she can feel tears falling down her cheeks.

Relief comes over her when that feeling of her body moving freely through space and time comes. Though this calms her nerves it does not keep her tears at bay. She feels herself on her bed finally as the motions of free space stops and her head is on her pillow and she is sobbing into it soaking it up with her tears. She can hear Emma clearing her throat in obvious discomfort of the situation she is witnessing.

"I am aware that that was very hard to see but you had to see it in order to understand." Emma softly explains to the girl.

"Just stop it already." Santana whines into the pillow. "Stop please just tell me that I'm dead in that future." Her voice cracks as she tries to speak but she doesn't care at this point.

"Brittany needed you. She needs you just as much as Quinn." Santana can feel a dip in the bed and can sense her uncomfortable posture. "They need you more than you need them." Santana lifts her body up and stares at the guidance counselor.

"What happens to me? What happens to me without Brittany?" Santana asks but Emma shakes her head.

"That's not why we came." Ms. Pillsbury tells her and Santana arches her eyebrow. Before she can speak she hears a beeping go off and Emma reaches into her pocket. "Hello?" She answers kindly. "Yes. She's ready." She shuts her phone off and looks to Santana. "It's time for me to go now."

"But you need to let me know, if, do I fix everything? Do I change it?" Santana whines trying to grab for the teacher but she is already at the door. Emma shrugs her shoulders and goes to turn the door knob and Santana throws herself on her stomach and her face back into her pillow. She can hear the door open but doesn't hear it close.

"What's going on?" Emma asks in wonderment.

"April kind of did something." Kurt says nonchalantly and Santana can hear the blonde giggle.

"Hey it was Rachel's idea." April blurts out walking into the room her shoes clicking on the wooden floor.

"Rachel, you know that we can't do that. I know you think it's a good idea but we're really not supposed to." Emma tries to explain but the sound of other shoes hitting her floor tells Santana that no one is going to listen to the guidance counselor.

"She looks exhausted." Kurt states softly and even when he pokes her with his foot Santana can't bring herself to open her eyes.

"She looks sad." Emma adds.

"She looks hung over." Rachel says in an accusing tone.

"Hey don't look at me." April defends herself and in the background Santana can hear ice clinking in a glass. "Okay fine but I only gave her one tiny drink but that's it I swear."

"April." The diva whines.

"What?" The older blonde shakes it off as though it's not that big of a deal. "You know how the first trip is always a doozy I was trying to avoid the puking part."

"And alcohol is the cure to an upset stomach?" Ms. Pillsbury counters.

"Only the good kind." April replies and the smile can be heard in her voice.

"How long are we supposed to wait?" Rachel inquires.

"We really shouldn't be doing this." Emma says again.

"Oh look, she moved." Kurt gets their attention back to Santana.

"Where is she?" The Latina can hear Rachel whisper to the other two.

_I'm right here_ thinks Santana but her mouth won't open.

"I told you she will be here soon." April explains to them and suddenly the sound of a door catches Santana's ear. "See I told you. Hey honey, you look so pretty." The older blonde's voice goes a little higher than normal and it sounds softer.

"Hi." Santana's head jerks back on her pillow when she hears a kid's voice in her room but her eyes remain shut.

"Hello." Emma greets.

"Wow your dress is exquisite." Rachel says admiringly.

"Thank you Rachel." The child replies and then Santana can feel a small dip in the bed and then a tiny hand pressing on her back. "Is she sleeping?" The little fingers continue to poke her body and the little girl's voice hums away. "She needs to get up or she's going to be late."

"It's starting soon so we should probably go." Kurt interjects and there's shuffling of feet on the wooden floor of her bedroom.

"Ugh you're right it's almost time." Rachel agrees. "Come on April we have to go get changed."

"Alright party dress time." The older blonde cheers adding a 'woohoo' to finish it off.

The 4 of them continue conversation amongst each other but the voices fade away until there is silence. Santana can still feel the weight of the child beside her and the little hand shakes her slightly.

"Come on S get up or you're going to miss it." Santana quirks an eyebrow and finally opens her eyes looking over her shoulder to see a blonde girl no older than 6 smiling at her giggling. "You look funny when you do that." The girl tells her pointing to her eyebrow arching a little higher than the other.

"I know you." The Latina whispers and the blonde girl laughs once more shaking her head.

"Of course you know me silly I'm your best friend." She explains simply and pats her back before hopping off of the bed. "Now let's go Brittany's waiting for you."

Santana sits up in bed places her feet on the ground and eyes up the little blonde girl before her wearing a light blue dress.

"Quinn?" She inquires slowly.

"Duh who else?" 6 year old Quinn softly jokes back at her friend stepping to her and grabbing her hand. Santana looks down at the tiny hand taking hers and pulling her to try and get her to her feet.

"Where are we going?" Santana asks letting the girl lead her out of her bedroom rather quickly. Quinn turns around and gives her a confused look.

"To get your Christmas present from Brittany." The blonde states matter of factly and Santana follows her lead hesitantly.

"My Christmas present?"

"It's the best one yet." Quinn assures her as they reach the front door of Santana's house.

"Is this another what could be?" Santana muses dreading to have to see another horrible future that she has demolished. Quinn pauses for a moment and looks up at her friends brown eyes and she shakes her head.

"No San, this is what is 'sposed to be." Little Quinn answers her simply.

The little girl opens the door and Santana shields her eyes as the brightness from beyond the door nearly blinds her. She covers her eyes with her forearm closing them just for good measure trusting Quinn to lead her carefully. When they fully step outside she hears light wind, some voices in mixed conversation and the warmth of the sun beating down on her skin. With Quinn's hand still in hers she feels them come to a halt and her arm shakes from movement of the other girl. Cautiously she opens her eyes, her arm still over her head to block the light.

When her eyes open her vision is greeted by a sea of people sitting before her in chairs in perfect formation. Her eyebrows furrow in trying to figure out where they are and why they are there. She turns to Quinn who she knows is still beside her due to their hands still being clasped. Her mouth drops when she lowers her arm and looks to her side.

"Quinn?" Santana's eyes practically pop out as she sees that though Quinn is in fact still standing next to her, she is no longer her 6 year old version but rather somewhere in her mid to late 20's.

"You ready S?" Quinn asks and her smile hints to Santana that there is something to be excited about.

She raises her eyebrows to Santana and nods her head in the direction in front of them. The Latina shakes her head slightly wondering what hell is going on but she follows Quinn's eyes fixed on something.

Santana catches a glimpse of blonde a few feet away down a semi long white path. She notices the people in the chairs standing up and turning their attention to where Santana and Quinn are staring. As the blonde figure down the path gets closer she realizes that it's Brittany walking towards her. Blue eyes lock into brown and Brittany grins from ear to ear and mouths 'hey' to Santana.

"Can she see me?" Santana asks Quinn but doesn't take her eyes off of Brittany.

"Of course she can see you S." Quinn spits out under her breath at the ludicrous question.

Santana's mouth nearly drops as she pieces together where she is and what is going on. The blonde slowly making her way towards the dark haired girl is biting her lower lip and staring deep into brown eyes. Santana's breath catches in her throat and she finally mouths back 'hi' to the blonde who she can see giggles and her cheeks turn a tint of pink. 'I love you' Brittany mouths back this time as she is about 5 feet away from her best friend. Santana can feel her heart leap and she steps to Brittany taking her hand in her own.

"Merry Christmas Santana." Brittany whispers rubbing her thumb along the back of Santana's hand in her own. The Latina grins and looks at their clasped hands then to Brittany's white dress then to the side where she sees Kurt, Rachel and April clapping before meeting Brittany's eyes.

"Merry Christmas Brittany."

As her eyes get lost in a sea of blue everything starts to shift and instead of calm quiet her ears are filled with a strange noise. She blinks just once and her body is moving through the blackness and the fuzz and suddenly her body is dropped back onto what she can only assume is her mattress. Okay, so she's in her bed but there is still that sound and a rush of energy is almost pulled from her and she jolts up from bed. Her eyes focus and she sees that she is in fact back in her room and the sound is coming from her nightstand. It is the alarm clock going off but it's on the radio instead of that incessant buzzing that is always so delightful to wake up to.

**_okay so here's my thing. i realllly just liked the idea of havin Emma be her final ghost. i'm sure everyone assumed it was going to be Sue, and believe me when i started this story i had thought about it but it seemed to obvious to me. Emma is afterall a guidance counselor so it seemed fitting in that aspect. Pluss he's honest in a non mocking way as Rachel and Kurt. And she's aware of flaws because A- she has them and B- due to her obvious illness, can point out others. i felt we needed a responsible adult to show Santana some things. anyway, i just rambled im sorry. but i really hoped you liked this part_**


	5. of christmas now

**_here it is the last chapter. okay so it's a little on the very kind of long side and i had thought about putting it into 2 parts but to be honest if i did that then it could have very well spawned off into several more chapters because i just can't help myself sometimes. but seriously this is it to the christmas carol situation i have thrown santana into. i seriously hope that i did it justice, i'll even settle for an okay job._**

**_i would like to thank all of you who have taken the time to review as well as read this randomness that has taken over my mind. i hope that i have provided ties ups to any loose ends if there were any. there's one more surprise (kind of) towards the end which is always fun to do. _**

**_so here it is and have fun with it and review to tell me if you liked this final part or if you didn't it's all relative:):)_**

* * *

Santana swings her arm towards her nightstand with plans to shut off the alarm clock instead she knocks it to the ground and the sound persists. She huffs and leans over her bed and reaches down to pick it up and firmly slide the button to quiet the room. Placing it back onto the nightstand the bright hot green light from the clock tells her its 12:01am.

She scrunches her eyebrows wondering why the hell her alarm was set for 12:00am. Santana sits completely still for a few seconds taking in the silence and the complete alone feeling she has. Her eyes dart from side to side as watching the little light from outside move strangely across her walls. For a moment, she closes her eyes and in that moment, though brief she can smell a warm breeze and can feel the warmth of the sun on her skin and can see the brightness and promise of blue eyes.

Realizing her night of traveling through past, present and future had not taken as long as she had thought. Her eyes shoot open again to the clock letting her now that it is now 12:15am. Santana sits up quickly and turning her body letting her feet hit the ground. For the first time tonight she can feel her wooden floor beneath her feet, they are not separated by her regulation Cheerio's trainers. Her eyes fall to the clothes she has on and she smirks letting out a small chuckle because she is not donning her Cheerio's uniform. Santana's stare goes to her door and when nothing happens, no music, no strange but familiar voices, no ice cubes clinking in a glass and no sound of Lysol being sprayed in her room she remembers.

She understands.

She gets it.

The decision upon which the visits were based on tonight was not about her. Yes, to some extent but not in the way and reason she had decided on it.

"_What happens to me? What happens to me without Brittany?" Santana asks but Emma shakes her head._

"_That's not why we came." Ms. Pillsbury tells her._

She shakes her head as Ms. Pillsbury's voice echoes in her mind and slowly things click together. It didn't matter where she ended up in that future, it didn't matter if she were rich or powerful or out of Lima for that matter. None of it mattered because Brittany wouldn't be there, in that future. Santana knows why they came and showed her the things they showed her.

"_Is that why Quinn and Brittany stop talking?" She inquires and Emma nods again._

"_Because of you." Ms. Pillsbury tells her further. _

The fact that Quinn and Santana hadn't been friends in almost 2 years had no bearings on the friendship of Quinn and Brittany. However, Santana's relationship/friendship with Brittany did in fact affect Quinn and Brittany's. Though they did get along well and cared for one another there was one thing in particular that connected them closely, a common interest. Santana. Maybe Quinn didn't show it but she still deeply cares for Santana and clearly Brittany is the only one who knows this.

"_So what?" Santana shouts jumping up from the bed startling the other person in the room. "I keep people at arm's length because no one can ever live up to expectations."_

"_When was it that Quinn let you down?" Ms. Pillsbury asks her locking her doe eyes into those brown ones. "And when was it that Brittany let you down?"_

Ms. Pillsbury had been right without having to even say the words. It wasn't other people Santana had impending disappointed feelings towards, it was in fact herself. She's fully aware of her emotional short comings, she had already let one of her best friends slip away and if she let Brittany in too close then there is the chance she'd not live up to the expectations she assumes of a best friend. She doesn't want to fail she doesn't want to fail Brittany. She doesn't want to be a disappointment. Keeping her heart closely locked inside a metal safe deep down so that she doesn't break the blonde. But by doing so she inadvertently hurts her.

This wasn't a journey to see how her choices affect her in the long run per se. It was a way for her to be shown that her actions do in fact affect those around her and closest to her. One single decision she makes can alter 2 people's lives forever and in turn make hers less worth living. Future sad Quinn was not the Quinn Fabray she would have imagined at 20 nor was the horrible image of Brittany working in a gentlemen's club. The mere thought makes her stomach churn.

Santana sits on her bed still going over everything she'd seen and heard tonight letting it all sink in some more. How had she gotten here? This just didn't make any sense. Her heart was aching and her brain hurt and she is pretty sure she might cry. She vaguely remembers April putting a bottle of booze in her nightstand telling her it was to 'celebrate' later. Santana shakes her head because she was pretty positive that this whole encounter had been one trippy dream. She slowly opens the drawer turning on her lamp and peering in.

There's no bottle, which she is not surprised but there is one thing inside right on top that catches her eye. It looks oddly familiar so she reaches in and looks at the folded piece of paper with her name on it. Before she unfolds it something falls into her lap making a weird but soft sound. Her eyes dart to her lap and she lifts up to the light the friendship bracelet that Brittany had given her that very first Christmas. She smiles to herself analyzing it for a few seconds before slipping it on her wrist. It's a little tight but it doesn't matter to her.

Her eyes go back to the piece of paper in her hand and she unfolds it leaning towards the light to read it.

_**Santana, Merry Christmas. You are my best friend. You are my everything. And I want to give you everything. Sit and wait for your present.**_

It's the note that Brittany had written to her last year when she had given herself to Santana. The Latina reads it over and over again staring at the way Brittany wrote her name, how she said what she said and then the actions that followed after the first time she had read this. The touch of the blonde's skin on her own, her fingers, her legs and her lips. Suddenly Santana looks up from the paper as if everything had hit her in the face.

"_I love you." Brittany's voice is true and pure, honest. "I'm in love with you Santana Lopez. And I have been for a while. And one day I'll tell you." She nods to herself and giggles when sleeping Santana wraps her arms possessively around Brittany's waist pulling her closer. "I think you feel the same way."_

Santana puts the paper back into her nightstand and runs to her closet to slip into her sneakers and then to her window unlocking it first and then lifting it. Swiftly she jumps out onto fresh snow nearly slipping on her ass in the process. She gathers herself and starts to sprint up the block.

Out of breath but not tired she rounds the Pierce residence to the side where Brittany's bedroom window is. She stands there for a moment in the darkness letting the snow take her over and she looks into the window. Brittany still had the lamp on by her desk and the blonde is lying down on her bed. Santana takes in a deep breath and then like so many times before she lifts the window open and with ease climbs into the bedroom careful not to be as loud as she had been in her own house.

When she turns to shut the window she hears the blonde stir on the bed behind her and before she faces her she closes her eyes quickly. Taking in a deep breath and slowly letting it out she whips her body around to face her best friend.

"You came." Brittany smiles through her obvious previously sad face. She pushes herself up from where she had been lying on the bed wiping her hair from her face. "I knew you would." Her voice is soft and innocent, true and honest.

Santana stands there letting the chill from the outside melt away from her as those blue eyes warm her body. Out of breath and full of so many images, memories and thoughts her eyes search Brittany's entire face for the slightest bit of uncertainty but there is none. At that moment Santana wonders how she could have possibly considered ending their 9 year tradition when it is clear to her that Brittany had no such inclinations.

"I'm sorry I'm late." Tumbles from the Latina's mouth and she nervously tries to shove her hands into her jacket pockets but she falters seeing as she is not wearing her Cheerio's jacket.

Brittany smirks at her friend who appears on edge about something, what she has no idea, but she finds it utterly adorable. The blonde shrugs and moves closer to the foot of the bed with the intentions of reaching out to Santana. But when her friend shuffles her feet she hesitates opting to sit on her knees and watch her instead.

"Santana?" Brittany's voice is questioning and she dips her head to get a better look at her friend who is staring at her rather intently. The blonde fidgets on the bed averting her eyes for a moment self consciously and place her hands on her lap. "Are you okay?" Santana furrows her eyebrows, only slightly about to brush it off and deny anything being wrong but she breaks eye contact instead and crosses her arms loosely over her chest.

"No." Santana whispers and slowly shakes her head. From her peripheral vision she can see the blonde tense for a moment before her body slouches.

"What's wrong? What happened?" Brittany asks with concern in her eyes. "Did I do something?" She wonders cautiously. Santana whips her head up and locks her eyes into Brittany's.

"No. No. Brittany you didn't do anything." Santana tells her sternly. Brittany swallows a small lump that had been forming in fear that Santana would be mad at her. The blonde girl twists her lips in trying to figure out her friend's awkward demeanor squinting a little bit.

"Does it have to do with why you were late?" She inquires, Santana chances to take her eyes off of Brittany, a brief second before she nods. "Okay, where were you?" Brittany presses further and Santana sighs chuckling, lightly shaking her head.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you." Santana mumbles and Brittany gets up from the bed standing in front of her friend and tilts her head.

"Try me." Brittany urges with a playful grin. Santana opens her mouth to speak ready to tell Brittany everything she had seen and everywhere she had been tonight but all of that seems irrelevant at this moment.

"I…" She tries to speak but nothing comes out and she looks to the side and sees a picture on Brittany's desk. The very same picture that April had shoved into Santana's hand during her visit previously tonight. Suddenly all of the memories the older blonde woman had brought her to revisit came rushing back to her and she looks back to Brittany. "I think… things need to change B." Brittany's lip quivers and that sweet and cheery 'I want to help' face fades and Santana can practically taste the uncomfortable pouring off of her.

"Wh-why?" The blonde stutters taking one tiny step away from Santana. The Latina takes in a deep breath and takes that step Brittany had taken away a second ago.

"Because this," Santana motions between the two of them. "Isn't working anymore… for either one of us." She explains taking a few more small steps towards the blonde but stops to maintain a comfortable distance between them.

Santana watches Brittany shift her weight from foot to foot twisting her fingers together at her waist. Her blue eyes look down with guilt, some sorrow and a hint of longing that goes unnoticed by the dark haired girl.

"But I…" Brittany's voice squeaks but it's not that that stops her from speaking, its Santana's finger coming up in the air to hush her. There is silence for a few seconds as Santana tries to keep herself together, but the quiet is too over whelming and she just doesn't care to hide anymore.

"I thought…" It's Santana's turn for her voice to fail her and she tightens her lips to suck back the strained sound her throat is making as she speaks. Her eyes shut hard and she shakes her head at herself. "I thought that I knew who I was, where I was going and…" She opens her eyes and as she stares into deep pools of blue her vision is momentarily impaired by tears forming and daring to spill over. It doesn't matter, she lets them. Santana laughs and takes one more step to Brittany so that she is literally a small motion of her hand away. One flex of her wrist and she'd be touching her. The thought speeds up her heart rate and dries her mouth. "But the truth is," She shrugs and brings her hand up to Brittany's cheek softly grazing the blonde's skin with the back of her fingers. "I don't know _anything_ without you. Without you around I'm lost, I'm alone, tired and scared." Santana sobs and her hand falls to her side only to bring it up to her own cheek to wipe away her desperate tears.

"San, I'm not going anywhere." Brittany tells her grabbing her friend's wrist gently and letting her hand slide down to take Santana's in her own. "Don't worry."

Santana smiles through her tears because even though somewhere deep down she already knew this, despite her own little self pity party she had been having when originally deciding not to come here tonight, she knew. The Latina sniffs back her tears pulling her free hand to her cheeks again to remove the random tears still falling at their leisure and squeezes the blonde's hand in her own.

"I want to give you my gift now." Brittany's eyebrows knit together and she tilts her head in confusion. First Santana is all awkward and fidgety then she's crying and fidgety and now she wants to give Brittany a present.

"San, you know how we do things around here." She jokes and puts her hand on her hip trying to pretend like rules are rules and that they never break them.

"I do." Santana responds and her voice is smooth and confident. "You give me a bracelet then I give you a kiss…" She pauses and Brittany watches Santana's walls slowly come down. "And then you…"

Brittany contemplates for a moment whether or not to interrupt or put up a fight about their 'rules' of sleeping and then gift giving for fun and to lighten the seemingly dim mood, but something stirs in her and she nods biting her lower lip anxiously. Again Santana takes in a deep breath and keeps her focus on those beautiful blues looking back at her. She moves her free hand to take Brittany's so she is holding on to both of the blonde's hands.

"Brittany, I have… wanted to give you something for a while. But I was too stubborn and too self absorbed to realize how badly I wanted to give it to you." She begins and Brittany suspiciously eyes her friend and smirks at the fact that Santana had just admitted flaws in herself. "It's not really something you can unwrap. And it's not really something you can, like, well I guess you can look at it but that's not the point." She shakes her head trying to get herself back on track and Brittany giggles at her. "It's something that, if you want to keep… well… I want you to keep it. If you want." Brittany arches an eyebrow suddenly having a strange case of déjà vu and she smiles when she decides on the perfect reply.

"I'm sure I'll love it. I love everything you give me San." The blonde responds and Santana finds herself able to smirk regardless of the tears still finding their way down her cheeks. Brittany brings their clasped hands up to the Latina's cheeks and wipes a few tears away with her finger. "What is it?" She whispers and Santana can hear the blonde's breathe catch in her throat when she moves closer their bodies just touching.

"Me." Santana breathes out. "I am in love with you Brittany Pierce. I always have been and I always will be." Brittany's eyes search Santana's frantically, widening a little at this announcement. "And you know what?" Brittany presses her lips tightly together and swallows. "You are my favorite part of Christmas. You are Christmas and without you today would just be another day." Those blue eyes fall from brown and Santana self consciously steps back. "I know you're with Artie now, but I just can't stand by and…"

"I'm not with Artie." Brittany interrupts looking back up at Santana and the Latina's head jerks back.

"What?"

"I'm not with Artie anymore." The blonde repeats herself not sure if she is supposed to or if Santana is only saying 'what' like people do when they are surprised.

"What happened?" Santana asks suddenly picturing injuring the boy severely and not getting caught. "Do I have to kick his ass?" Brittany shakes her head.

"No I broke up with him." She responds matter of factly.

"Why?" Santana's eyes flutter between Brittany's and her voice is a bare whisper. Brittany takes that step Santana had taken away and pushes her body up against the Latina's.

"For you." Brittany speaks onto Santana's lips and a small sound escapes the Latina's throat at the feel of the blonde's breath on her skin. Brown eyes lock hard onto blue in assurance. "He wanted me to choose." She shrugs. "I chose you. I choose you. I'll always choose you Santana." She states simply and factually and Santana envies the blonde at the ease she speaks with. "Even when you're stubborn and self absorbed, I choose you."

"Wow." Santana lets out along with a breath she was unaware she had been holding in.

"Can I give you my gift now?" Brittany asks a small grin playing on her lips and Santana smiles nodding. "It's not something you can unwrap, well, maybe sometimes you can." She giggles looking down for a moment to hide the small blush creeping over her cheeks. "And you can totally keep it, like forever and can totally look at it all of the time." Brittany darts her eyes back up to meet Santana's and their amused expressions are now replaced by serious and warm looks.

"What is it?" The Latina asks even though she already knows what it is, or rather who it is.

"Me goofball." Brittany tells her squeezing her hands and they chuckle. "I love you, you know." She says after a few beats.

"I know." Santana answers in a low raspy voice her eyes flickering from blue eyes to lips and she licks her own as she slowly starts to lean in.

Brittany unclasps their hands and swiftly brings her hands to the back of Santana's neck and pulls her into her crashing their lips together. They stand like that for a few minutes Santana bringing her hands to the blonde's waist pulling their bodies as close as possible. Brittany glides her tongue across the bottom of Santana's lip for permission to enter to which she promptly given access. Sighs and moans of relief, pleasure and love escaping into the other's mouth with each movement. They pull apart when Santana needs air both of them smiling leaning their forehead's together.

"Wow." Brittany breathes out with a small giggle.

"Yeah." Santana agrees. "Best Christmas ever." She muses and Brittany quirks an eyebrow after a second.

"Umm, what about when I gave you my virginity?" Brittany questions and they both break out into soft laughter.

"Okay." Santana nods at the memory like it were yesterday, when ironically it's a memory she saw today. "Can't it be a tie?" She wrinkles her nose playfully and Brittany rolls her eyes lightheartedly.

"Happy 10 year anniversary." The blonde whispers as she leans back in. "Merry Christmas San."

"Merry Christmas B." She says just as she places her lips onto Brittany's.

Brittany, with her arms still wrapped around Santana, starts to walk them backwards to the bed. Her hands slide down the front of Santana grazing over her breasts and stomach and don't stop until she reaches the bottom of her shirt. Without hesitation she lifts it over her head letting it fall to the floor and going for her own shirt dropping it at her feet.

Santana unties the drawstring to Brittany's pajama pants which once undone fall easily to the ground the blonde stepping out of them and lying on to the bed bringing Santana with her. Brittany's thumbs slip under the waist band of the sweatpants Santana has on and tugs them lower until the other girl has to get up and remove them herself. Santana crawls back on top of Brittany kissing every inch of her body her lips can meet while her hands hold onto Brittany's playfully.

Brittany sits up wrapping her arms around Santana's waist and pressing their bodies tightly together kissing the Latina's chest. Santana finds her hands tangled in blonde locks as she revels in the feel of Brittany's lips on her body. She bends her head down lifting Brittany's face to hers and kissing her hard and good while reaching behind herself and unclasping her bra. Gently Santana pushes Brittany to lie back down by her shoulders and the blonde complies though not wanting to break their kiss. She groans a little at the separation but then her eyes widen with awe. Santana grins and grabs Brittany's hand bringing it up to her chest.

"This right here." Santana says through heavy breaths patting the back of Brittany's hand that is palming her chest. "My heart, it's yours Brittany." Brittany smiles softly at the gesture. "It's always been yours." Santana whispers lowering herself to kiss Brittany's lips again.

Brittany moves her hand from Santana's chest up to her cheek matching her other hand to cup the Latina's face and pull her closer. Soft sweet kisses turn into deeper kisses full of need and want and answers. The blonde pushes her body back up her arms wrapping around Santana's waist and keeping her close against her skin. She brings a hand to Santana's chest and lightly pushes her and easily changes their positions so that the smaller girl is now on her back.

Brittany lowers Santana slowly till her back hits the bed and then she gently places her body flush against the dark haired girl's body. Santana gasps at the contact of Brittany's body fully on her own and her hands grab at flesh and her body reacts pushing up. Her breathing all but stops when Brittany's lips leave hers only to place small soft kisses to her cheeks, neck, shoulder and the spot just below her ear methodically taking her time as she places each and every one.

Santana's hands loosen their grip on the other girl's skin and her fingers lightly graze the back of the girl on top of her taking in this feeling of simply being. When Brittany brings her face to Santana's their eyes lock and Santana brings her hands to rest right where the blonde's neck and shoulder's meet. Those pools of blue that she knows so well staring back at her and for the first time in a long time she lets them see inside of her. Brittany smiles an innocent yet knowing smile and reaches up to remove a stray hair that had fallen over Santana's cheek.

"I love you." Santana whispers before leaning up and pressing her lips ever so carefully to Brittany's. When she pulls away she lets out an exasperated sigh and grins. "I love you." She says and this time it comes out as though it was there the whole time and she had been too blind to see it. Truth, she had been. Brittany's smile widens and Santana leans up again kissing her quickly. "I am in love with you." Santana tells her with confidence, passion and a certainty she had never before possessed.

"I know." Brittany is the one to whisper this time wrapping her fingers around Santana's wrist and kissing the inside of it before bringing her lips back to the girl under her. "I know." She repeats between kisses.

As the kissing intensifies hands begin to roam and become more exploring over the other's skin. Gasps moans and muffled sounds echo off of the walls along with the heavy breathing that has become a constant within the four walls of Brittany's bedroom. Every moment Santana's mouth opens to express pleasure the blonde's lips are there to take it all in, not just for the sake of those still sleeping in her house, but to almost taste the way she makes her feel.

The stifling heat between their bodies makes them forget that just outside the window is snow falling from a cold December sky. Their slick skin slides over one another's as their motions become more erratic on the verge of coming completely undone. 'Brittany' and a few choice expletives escape Santana's mouth as her body gives out her thoughts go nearly blank and her insides explode. The blonde bites down on her lower lip as Santana's ministrations quicken and she squeezes the smaller girls shoulder hard and presses their forehead's together as 'I love you' in an inaudible raspy whisper tumbles from her mouth.

Their bodies collapse onto one another's with the sheets under them in complete disarray and the comforter carelessly kicked off of the bed onto the floor. Hands are still reaching, grabbing and searching as though to make sure that the other is still there never once pausing for more than a second. Surely out of breath they continue to place kisses to whatever skin is available to them.

Eventually they settle in the middle of the bed in a state of contentment with their legs intertwined and the top half of Santana's body over Brittany's chest her head resting over the heavy beating. Brittany plays with Santana's dark hair as they not so desperately try to catch their breath.

After a few long minutes, when the room has fallen silent and all that can be heard is the slow and steady breathing from both parties Santana lifts her head from Brittany's chest to lay it on the same pillow as the blonde. Their eyes glistening from the moonlight outside of the window as they stare at one another and lazy smiles cover their lips.

"You're beautiful." Brittany tells her factually in an airy voice. Santana can feel her cheeks warm up with a small blush and she grins.

"You make me feel beautiful." Santana admits looking down at their bodies touching before looking back up at Brittany who is still eyeing her. "You are the most amazing person I have ever met." She compliments and the blonde giggles turning on her side so she is fully facing the smaller girl.

"Well, you make me feel amazing." Brittany winks in that flirtatious kind of way and it makes Santana chuckle copying Brittany's position and turning on her side.

"Anytime." Santana winks back brushing the back of her hand to the blonde's cheek and Brittany moves into the touch which soon falls to her arm.

"So," Brittany muses while Santana lies on her side tickling up and down the blonde's arm. "What do you want to do today?" Santana takes a moment remembering another thing she needed to change today and she smiles to herself.

She notices Brittany shiver a little bit and realizes that the heat they had produced moments ago had left and now their sweat bodies are being welcomed back to the chilly air of a bedroom in a Lima winter. Santana shuffles over a little and pulls the sheet around them.

"I was thinking." She begins getting Brittany to turn her head. "We should stop by Quinn's. I have a gift for her." Santana says and Brittany smiles brightly at the girl next to her. "I miss her. It'd be nice if the 3 of us started hanging out again." The blonde nods turning her head more into Santana's chest and snuggling against her so close she can hear her heart beating.

"Yeah." Brittany sighs. "I'd like that."

"I thought so." Santana agrees kissing the top of Brittany's head moving her hand under the covers and over the blonde's bare skin wrapping her arm around her waist pulling her closer if possible.

The two fall asleep within seconds with a relief and happiness that Christmas had always provided them. But this Christmas, Brittany had thought before she fell asleep, was most definitely the best one so far just like Santana had said. A few hours later they were awoken by the alarm on Brittany's nightstand to which they both hesitantly removed themselves from one another to stop the blaring sound from persisting.

Santana sighs as she rolls back to face the blonde after clicking the alarm in its off position and she smiles at the fact that Brittany, who usually, falls back asleep as Santana slips out the window is still awake. Those blue eyes, that still look so sleepy, look just as lovely and beautiful as they did when they moaned 'I love you' into the night air.

"Do you have to go?" Brittany wines tucking her hands under her chin and pouts. Santana's lips twist in thought and she begrudgingly nods wrapping her arm around Brittany's waist. "Come on, stay." Brittany pleads gripping onto Santana's bicep pulling her closer and the Latina can't help but giggle.

"As much as I would love to wake up to you again on Christmas morning, I'm kind of thinking that your parents wouldn't really like it so much." Santana jokes and Brittany still pouts. "Especially like this." Santana motions to their very much naked bodies and this garners a giggle from the blonde who nods in agreement.

Santana leans in to kiss Brittany's lips and then places a kiss to her forehead before she gets up to put her clothes back on finding them in the reverse of how she had removed them. Brittany props up on her elbows and watches Santana's every move as she pulls her shirt over her head opting to not put her bra back on and pulling up her sweat pants. Brittany looks down at her naked body covered in a thin sheet in deep thought.

"This isn't… like…" Brittany stumbles over her words making Santana pause in the middle of slipping her trainers on. The blonde sighs and finally looks back up to those questioning browns. "Are things going to go back to the way they were?" Brittany nervously asks and Santana's face slowly drops and she searches Brittany's eyes. She sits up from the chair by the desk and moves back to the bed and lies beside Brittany.

"Britt…" Santana tucks a few stray hairs behind Brittany's ear and moves to grab her hand and kisses it softly. "Things are going to be different. I am… I want… I want you and only you." She tells her and Brittany swallows hard as if waiting for the 'but' to come, but after a few beats it never comes. Santana smiles and kisses her forehead. "Don't worry so much. This," She motions between them. "Is a good thing." Brittany nods and smiles. "I miss you already."

"I know." Brittany whispers as their lips meet for a chaste kiss.

As Santana makes her way out the window she stops and looks back to the blonde who is watching her intently. She grins over to her letting her shoulders fall with relaxation.

"I'll pick you up to go to Quinn's later." Santana reminds her with a wink and blows a kiss and then she reaches the ground closing the window before she makes her way back to her house.

Being around 5:00am the sun has still yet to make an appearance to this Christmas morning in Lima, Ohio. But there is a new light that guides Santana back to her home and that light being the not so new feelings shared between her and her best friend. Not that she would want to but she can't wipe the silly grin on her face even if she were to try. She walks carefree through the fresh snow down the street breathing in the cold air that feels so refreshing and amazing much like the feel of Brittany's lips on hers and their bodies that fit so perfectly together. It may have taken her to the very last minute to realize it, but she did. She's never felt as grateful for Christmas days as she does this particular one.

Instead of sleeping until her mother wakes her as what normally happens every Christmas, Santana decides there are more important things to prepare for than a morning full of tearing paper and 'oohs' and 'ahhs'. Once warmly inside her own room she kicks off her shoes and takes a seat at her desk readying herself for one of the most important things she will have to do, well, besides declaring her love for a certain blonde up the block.

Santana sits there with pen in hand chewing on the cap as she thinks of what she could possibly write to fix the past 2 years, as if only words were capable to do such a thing. But she knows from what Kurt and Rachel of Christmas present had allowed her to see perhaps words are the perfect thing. Especially considering the only words that most thought Santana Lopez was capable of were horrible slurs of their outfits and anything in the park of a putdown. This is her chance to replace what has been lost over a few years and possible give chance to something in the future.

She grabs a fresh piece of paper from her drawer and begins writing away. When she had started it was barely half past 5 and as she carefully folds the paper she glances to her nightstand to see that it is now 7:00am. She grins to herself flipping over the envelope and jots the name of the recipient on the front and looks at her handy work. Normally if she were to write any kind of letter, which was few and far between, she would analyze and critique everything she had written. But this time she didn't, she didn't want to and felt she didn't need to. She put everything she had felt in the past, the present and the future into this letter and she was positive that since it came from deep within and she allowed her barricades to come down that what she had written was more than perfect. Her mother had always told her that _'your feelings are your feelings and with them you can never be wrong'_. Perhaps she should listen to her mother more often than not at all.

As if on cue her mother comes into her room quietly and stops abruptly when she spots her daughter at her desk. Santana spins around and smiles at her mother standing in the frame of the door. She doesn't give the older woman a chance to speak before she jumps out of her chair and barrels into her mother wrapping her arms around her and resting her head against her.

"I love you mommy." Santana says softly and Mrs. Lopez pulls her daughter in closer kissing the top of her head.

"Merry Christmas Santana I love you too sweetie." She replies and rocks them back and forth for a few moments. "Now let's go your brothers are getting impatient." She pulls back running her fingers through her daughter's hair. They make their way to the living room where the sounds of her brothers wrestling interrupt her thoughts. "How was Brittany's?" Mrs. Lopez inquires turning to her daughter.

"It was… amazing." Santana grins feeling a small blush come over her cheeks and she turns away to hide them.

"Good. Did she like her present?" Her mother questions further and Santana quickly nods biting her lower lip to contain her excitement as well as what the present actually was. "Of course she did, if you got her a rock she would love it." Mrs. Lopez comments and Santana's head snaps up sending her mother a questioning glare but the older woman was already bending down by the tree retrieving gifts. Santana ponders the older woman's words and thinks of April, her 'ghost' of Christmas past and giggles to herself while taking a seat next to her brother.

Christmas morning at casa de Lopez came and went and soon Santana found herself sitting in her room staring at all of the boxes of gifts she had received. She had neatly placed them in the corner of her room and although she had loved every single gift she had gotten none of them seemed to compare to the one she had given and received in the earlier hours of Christmas day. In fact, they never seemed to. The time between her and Brittany had always been better than any sweater, shoe, cosmetic applicator or gadget she had ever been given. She shakes her head at the thought of her ending that tradition that had always meant the most to her, but at least she had fixed it before it was too late.

Her eyes traveled the length of her room and fell upon the desk that she had spent nearly two hours sitting at preparing her second most important gift of the day. Hopefully this gift wasn't too late either. Rounding 10:30am she figured it best to start getting ready to head over to Brittany's so that they could walk around the block to Quinn's. She wonders what Quinn's reaction will be to seeing her on her door step this morning. She knows what her own reaction would be if Brittany had pulled something like that on her. But then again, knowing the things she knows now and the things she had seen her reaction would definitely be different than if she had gotten the surprise yesterday. In a way she almost felt nervous about going to Quinn's because the two have not been exactly friendly for a while. But she shoves all of those insecurities deep down because first of all if she can tell Brittany how she feels about her then she can do it and besides, she's Santana fucking Lopez.

When she gets to Brittany's house she is bombarded by the whole Pierce family hugging her, kissing her cheeks and telling her 'Merry Christmas'. Brittany's parents brought her into the living room where Brittany had been sitting with her sister and just like every year made her sit down and open the gift they had gotten her.

Last year they had gotten her an iPod since her parents hadn't known that she had lost the one that they had gotten her for her birthday. She couldn't believe that they had spent that much money on her and tried her best to give it back but they refused and demanded that she accept especially since she takes such good care of their daughter. They had always showered her with the same love that her own parents provided her and she felt almost spoiled that she got so much love and affection. For her to have her best friend's parent's care about her so much was always meant more to her than any gift.

"Here you go Santana." Mr. Pierce says handing the girl a neatly wrapped box.

"Now it's not as extravagant as last year's gift but it's much more exciting." Mrs. Pierce announces taking a seat next to her husband with a silly grin on her face.

"It's kind of from me too." Brittany interrupts moving closer to Santana and peering down at the still very wrapped gift. Santana smiles and glances up to Brittany who smirks and nudges her with her elbow. "Open it."

Without wasting any more time Santana goes for it and rips the paper off revealing a white box that looks too small hold an article of clothing but too big to hold any kind of jewelry and too light to be holding some sort of electronic device. She felt relieved at the fact that they did not go overboard again and with a long breath in she lifts the box.

It looks like a booklet of some sort and she sees the cover that reads 'Santana & Brittany 2011 Calendar' and she chances looks to the Pierce family who all have anticipation written on their faces. She pulls it out and places the box at her feet and lifts the cover to reveal the first page to January 2011 and there's a picture of her and Brittany when they were younger playing in the snow. She giggles and Brittany follows suite and Santana looks up from the picture to the blonde's parents and smirks. They turn to February and there's a picture of Santana and Brittany from 7th grade feeding each other chocolates with empty heart boxes all around them and she snorts remembering the horrible stomach aches they both got after eating all of that chocolate.

"Oh my god." She mutters under her breath flipping to March and then April and so on. "This is amazing." Santana shakes her head at how much effort they had put into this and she is amazed. "Thank you so much." She says and gets up from the couch and goes over to hug Mr. and Mrs. Pierce.

"Our pleasure honey." Mrs. Pierce replies gently patting the smaller girls back. "We were cleaning out the office and we stumbled over all of these pictures from when you guys were younger and we just had to do something with them."

"And then daddy remembered that this guy from work had made his mother a Calendar of their family and thought this was perfect." Brittany elaborates of how this gift was thought up.

"It really is." Santana agrees flipping through the book again grinning at all of the pictures. "Thank you." She repeats but she can't think of anything else to say and she leans over to Brittany and kisses her on the cheek.

"We should probably go to Quinn's now." Brittany says quickly jumping up from the couch and Santana notices the blush creeping on her face after she had kissed her cheek in front of her parents.

"Yea." With that, the two girls bundle back up and get ready to trek their way around the block to another familiar blonde's house.

Santana takes notice to the small package neatly tucked under Brittany's arm and wonders what she had gotten Quinn this year. The last present she remembers the blonde giving Quinn was a Britney Spears CD. The hand in her pocket traces the envelope that is perfectly stored there and she prays that all hope is not lost in the friendship of Santana and Quinn. She glances to Brittany who is all smiles and she can't help but let the same expression take over her face and she removes her hand from her pocket and reaches down to grab Brittany's hand. The blonde's head quickly snaps in the direction of their hands and watches as Santana intertwines their fingers and grips if firmly. Brittany looks to those brown eyes and Santana smiles proudly making Brittany smile the same.

"You look very pretty today Brittany." Santana tells her and maybe it's the light winter wind or maybe it's the compliment or it could be the contact of their skin but she sees the pale cheeks of the blonde tint pink.

"Thank you." She shyly accepts the compliment.

"Well I mean, you always look pretty but today you look extra pretty." Santana furthers and Brittany brushes their shoulders against each other and playfully nudges her friend and giggles. "Does she know I'm coming?"

"No." Brittany informs her and looks back at her a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "You're part of her Christmas present from me." She beams and Santana laughs.

"Great she's never going to want a gift from you again." Santana jokes making Brittany laugh just the same.

"Are you ready?" Brittany inquires as they reach the door of Fabray manor. Santana swallows hard and nods affirming she is prepared to proceed into the unknown. Brittany reaches out and rings the doorbell bouncing excitedly and the sound of the door opening makes Santana tense up.

"Merry Christmas Bri…" Quinn begins to greet with a smile until her eyes fall upon the shorter dark haired girl standing next to her bubbly blonde friend. Her smile fades but she's not angry, just very surprised and shocked and unprepared. "Santana." She says in a small whisper of confusion. The Latina smiles in a friendly manner and nods.

"Merry Christmas Quinn." Santana replies and Quinn's lips twitch as she allows herself to smile a small smile and she nods.

"Merry Christmas S." She softly responds and turns her attention to a very happy Brittany. "Merry Christmas Brittany." Quinn announces and opens her arms for her jumpy blonde friend who comes all but jumping into her arms and then hops into the house leaving the two estranged friends still standing awkwardly in front of one another.

"I'm going to put this in your room you guys should talk." Brittany tells them and her voice disappears as she rounds the corner to the hallway that leads to Quinn's bedroom.

Quinn and Santana stand there, as still as possible staring at one another. Santana fidgets and shifts her weight from one foot to the other wondering how long this is going to last and if Quinn is going to ask her to leave.

"Are you going to come in or stand out here and freeze?" Quinn slaps her arm and moves aside for the other girl to come in.

Santana walks in and almost jumps at the sound of the door closing behind her it had technically been a very long time since she had been in this house, not counting the strange adventure she had been on last night. She removes her jacket and takes a seat on the couch waiting for Quinn to follow suit.

"It's been a while huh?" Santana offers and mentally kicks herself for having those be the words that come out of her mouth.

"Yeah." Quinn answers finally sitting down beside her and she opens her mouth to say something else but Santana is desperately searching her jacket pocket for something.

"Before you say anything, or I say anything, I have a present for you." Santana interrupts her and pulls out the envelope and hesitantly hands it to her. Quinn looks down at it, her name perfectly written across the white paper and her eyes dart to Santana's. "Just read it first, because… well…" She shrugs and motions for the blonde to take it from her, which she does eventually. Quinn opens it up and pulls out a few folded pages.

_**Quinn,**_

_**I don't know what has happened. I wish that I had answers for the why's and the how's but I don't. Anything that I can come up with just does not put me in a good light and we both already know how horrible I can be and how horrible I have been. Never in a million years would I have thought that you would ever be on the receiving end of my attitude problem. But here we are, past best friends that don't even look at each other anymore let alone talk to one another.**_

_**I don't like where we are and I don't like who I have become towards you. I let my own insecurities get the best of me and in turn threw you to the side as if I could find something better. But the truth of the matter is that I could never find anything/anyone better than you. You will always be one of the most important people in my life regardless of where we end up. You know my flaws but you also know that I have some good inside of me, you are one of the few, you are one of two. **_

_**Santana, Quinn and Brittany… we're meant to be. We are meant to conquer the world and make fun of the world together. We are meant to be there for each other when crazy things happen, when bad things happen and most importantly when amazing and beautiful things happen.**_

_**I wasn't there for you when I was supposed to be. I don't expect you to forgive me whether it be right away or ever but I want you to consider it. You may not still consider me yours but I still consider you mine; my best friend.**_

_**You are such a strong young woman and though I may not say it out loud or even admit it in public you are amazing and beautiful and the best kind of person that could ever be.**_

_**I know I have messed up and done the wrong thing, a lot. But I don't want to anymore. I need my best friend back if she is willing to accept me. I don't like this distance between us and I don't want it to continue to get further. Maybe it's cheesy but my Christmas gift for you this year is the possibility, if you should accept, to fix our friendship. **_

_**When I look to the future I see me and Brittany, but I see you there with us too. You are there with us after graduation, in college and at our wedding. How are you supposed to be my maid of honor if we aren't friends? It just doesn't make any sense.**_

_**I love you so much and I always have. You are a part of not only Brittany's life but so much a part of mine and I want that to continue.**_

_**Love Always, Santana**_

_**p.s. do not tell Brittany anything I said about marriage and stuff**_

_**p.p.s. yes, I plan on marrying her one day**_

Quinn looks up from the letter with a small smirk on her lips and tiny tears threatening to escape. Her mouth opens to speak but it quickly closes and her eyes dart back down the paper. She sniffs and wipes pre-tears from her face and looks back to Santana letting the letter rest on her lap.

"You do know that this was just a love letter about Brittany to me." Quinn mocks and tilts her head making Santana blush and grin back at her.

"Yeah, well, you're my best friend. I need someone besides Brittany to tell how much I love her." Santana retorts and Quinn arches an eyebrow as if to mean 'touché' and they giggle and the blonde opens her arms leaning in to pull Santana into a hug. The Latina falls into the embrace and at that moment it's as though nothing has changed. "I missed you." Santana whispers into her friends ear.

"Me too S." Quinn admits in a small voice and they hug harder and Santana is certain she can hear a quiet sob escape her friend's throat and she rubs her back for comfort. Quinn clears her throat and pulls back wiping actual tears from her face now and their hands meet and grip each other. "So," She forces a smile but its genuine. "You finally told Brittany you love her huh?" She asks and Santana bites her lower lip and nods. "Took you long enough." Quinn jokes.

"Tell me about it." Brittany interrupts them and walks over to the couch and takes a seat on Santana's lap. "Are we ready for presents now Quinn?" She asks playing with Santana's hair.

"Come on let's go." Quinn replies and they move the tiny party to her room.

Brittany hands over her present first and watches with wide eyes as Quinn opens it and smiles at what is inside the box. She lifts it up and shows it to Santana. It's a frame with a picture of the three of them in it.

"I don't remember this one." Santana says looking over to Brittany.

"This is when we went to the amusement park and you carried me everywhere." Quinn explains pointing out how she is on the smaller girls back.

"Oh yeah." Santana sighs out smiling grabbing the frame. "You swore you broke your baby toe and then Brittany offered my Hulk like strength to you." She smirks at Brittany who giggles.

"You are freakishly strong." Quinn points out and Brittany nods and Santana shrugs, it's true. "That was a good time."

"Why did you give that to her? I mean, what if I didn't come?" Santana asks Brittany and Quinn waits to hear the answer. The blonde shrugs and looks to her friends.

"I just knew you'd come and she'd want it." Brittany explains vaguely and the other two simply shake their heads at Brittany and her unknowing knowledge of everything Quinn and Santana.

The rest of the morning turns into the afternoon and it's like old times for the threesome. The Fabray house is filled with laughter and random gossip the three of them need to catch up on. Quinn takes the time to ask them about their relationship now and how their Christmas morning had gone. She has to stop Brittany before she starts going into too much information mode and thankfully Santana is there to help her. Quinn then proceeds to tell Santana how she got a play by play instructional lecture of how last year's Christmas had gone when Brittany gave herself to Santana. This definitely made the Latina blush furiously and grin at her blonde who shrugs her shoulders.

"So are you two like girlfriends now?" Quinn asks arching an eyebrow at Santana who blankly stares at her. Brittany turns to Santana who is still looking at Quinn.

"I don't know." Brittany answers in a small voice. Santana grins and looks over to her friend and shrugs her shoulders.

"I guess so." Santana responds and they lean in to kiss but Quinn stops them by clapping her hands.

"Santana!" She shouts sounding very much like Ms. Pillsbury and both girls stop and turn to her. "You can't just agree like that to be girlfriend and… girlfriend. It has to be a grand gesture." Quinn explains and Santana all but scowls.

"Umm, hello I confessed my love for her at like 1am, isn't that a grand gesture?" Santana inquires and Quinn rolls her eyes and sighs.

"Oh yeah, what about when you decide to get married?" She blurts out and Santana's eyes widen and Brittany giggles and looks over at Santana. "'Oh hey Sany we've been together for so long', 'I know B, you want to like…', 'Get married?'… 'Yeah I guess so'." Quinn mocks them playing both of them in a future conversation.

"Okay you have a point." Santana agrees her shoulders slumping at the fact that she had forgotten to even ask Brittany to be her girlfriend. It's all rather simple and she could ask her right here and now but it doesn't seem romantic or much of a grand gesture.

"Ugh," Quinn interrupts their thoughts hoping that maybe if she can provide them with alone time that Santana or Brittany will romantically ask the question. "My mom's home from church." She rolls her eyes and moves to look out the window, this was usually when the two girls would leave.

"Okay." Brittany jumps from her spot on the floor and grabs Santana up with her.

"Hey Q, come over tonight. For dessert." Santana offers and Quinn smiles nodding.

"That sounds nice S, thanks." She replies.

Quinn walks her friends to the door and they each hug and say another 'Merry Christmas' before parting ways. The girl's wave to Mrs. Fabray as she passes them on the walk way and make their way back around the block to their respective houses. Santana drops Brittany off at her house walking her up to the door and quickly kissing her on the lips before she travels down the block to her own house.

Surprisingly for the Lopez house it's the first time in years that the boys wrestling do not result in something breaking. Santana doesn't get hurt when she goes in for her share of turkey and she doesn't even get a scratch on her as she passes the boys goofing off in the hallway by her bedroom door. At 7:15 pm the doorbell rings and Mrs. Lopez goes to answer it assuming it to be the blonde haired girl from up the block. To her surprise, though she does find a blonde girl standing on the front steps it is not Brittany.

"Quinn." Mrs. Lopez smiles at her and opens the door wider motioning for her to come in. "What a wonderful surprise, Merry Christmas honey." She pulls the girl in for a small hug when she enters and receives a 'Merry Christmas' greeting from Quinn just the same. "Santana is digesting in her room before dessert." She tells the girl closing the door and heading back to the kitchen.

Quinn makes her way through the Lopez house with ease as though the last time she was here was yesterday. She smiles as she passes the photos on the walls and the part of the wall that was clearly plastered from that one time she and Santana decided to go skiing in the house. She reaches Santana's room and lightly knocks before entering she didn't want to walk in on her and Brittany doing… anything.

"Come in B." She hears Santana shout through the door and she chuckles when she finds Santana lying on her bed in her snow pants.

"Hey." Quinn softly lets her presence of not being Brittany be known and Santana looks over to the door and smiles at her friend.

"Oh, hey come in." Santana sits herself up and taps the bed for Quinn to take a seat.

"I…" Quinn pauses as she takes a seat and from behind her presents Santana with a wrapped box. "I didn't get to give you this before." She sheepishly explains shoving the box further to Santana's direction. Santana eyes the gift and then looks to Quinn who nods and smiles. "Merry Christmas Santana." The dark haired girl takes the box and slowly unwraps it wondering what could Quinn possibly have to give her considering their lack of friendship as of late.

"I feel pretty shitty now from my lame ass letter gift." Santana sighs taking note that the box is from an expensive store at the mall. Quinn shrugs and nods her head to open it up.

"It's not what you think." Quinn tells her and bites her lower lip as she watches Santana slowly lift the top of the box up. The Latina's eyes almost pop out of her head as she folds back some of the tissue paper.

"What the…?" Santana mumbles lifting the small book to eye level. "Quinn, is this…?"

"It's my diary." Quinn nods in confirmation of Santana's suspicions. Santana arches an eyebrow and her mouth drops open. "It's kind of funny because before you stopped by today I already had this wrapped up to give to you." Santana forces out a small laugh because from her travels she knew that Quinn had a gift for her but she didn't know what it was. "But then you came by this morning and I guess it was meant to be that I gave it to you." She points to it and Santana inspects the book wondering if the lock on it actually works or if it was just one of those 'for show' locks like on kid's diaries. "I started this when I first got pregnant and I stopped writing it up until the beginning of this year." She explains looking down at her clasped hands. "It's everything you missed." Quinn tells her and Santana can't fight back the small tears that are creeping up behind her eyes.

"I'm so sorry Q." She sobs softly and throws herself onto Quinn who pulls her into a hug.

"It's okay S." Quinn comforts her. It might not really be okay, but it will be and both girls are very aware of this fact. "Shhh… if you are all tears when Brittany gets here she will be very upset." She pulls away and wipes away Santana's tears with her thumbs and smiles at her.

"You're right." Santana sniffles and forces a smile but a genuine giggle escapes her lips.

Before either girl can say anything else there is a knock at the door and they turn waiting to see Brittany come through. But after the knock nothing happens, until there is another knock.

"B come in." Santana says to the door and she gets up to put Quinn's diary in her nightstand drawer.

"Okay." Brittany responds but is still on the other side of the door. Santana goes to make her way back to the bed but stops when the door doesn't open.

"Britt what are…?" Santana starts and is walking to the door but Brittany's voice stops her.

"Stop." The blonde yells from the other side as if she can see Santana. "Before I come in just promise me you won't be mad." Santana arches an eyebrow and turns to Quinn who has her own eyebrows furrowed.

"Why? What happened?" Santana questions crossing her arms and staring at the door.

"Nothing… happened." Brittany informs her but she hesitates slightly. "Just promise me you won't be mad." Quinn nods to Santana to just agree.

"Okay fine." The Latina huffs and then the door knob slowly turns and the door opens and there is Brittany. "Berry?" Santana nearly shouts and Quinn's laughter can be heard from behind her.

"You said you weren't going to get mad." Brittany pouts and crosses her arms over her chest and Santana scowls at Rachel standing in the doorway of her bedroom and then glances to Brittany.

"Wh-what, why?" Santana stutters over her words and her eyes fall onto Brittany in disbelief.

"I was on my way here and I saw Rachel walking down the street by herself." Brittany explains pointing to Rachel as her prop.

"So why didn't you leave her there?" Santana blurts out.

"San its Christmas." Brittany counters and lightly stomps her foot on the ground.

"Britt, Berry's Jewish." Santana points out with a small smirk on her face.

"Exactly, she has nowhere to go on Christmas. And she looked all sad and mopey so I started walking with her and telling her how much fun your house is at night and how we play in the snow, eat cake and go to the park." Brittany explains with such enthusiasm that Santana can't help but genuinely smile at this.

"It's okay Brittany I can go." Rachel sighs and goes to turn around and leave but Brittany pouts even more at Santana who receives a slap on her arm by Quinn who stands up and walks to the door.

"No Berry." Santana says in monotone. "Don't go."

"Seriously Rachel don't." Quinn says a little louder and the girl stops in the hallway. "It's the season to be nice to those less fortunate and a time to forgive." The last part she turns to glare at Santana as she says it and the Latina looks down with guilt. Quinn is right if she can stoop so low as to ask for forgiveness and admit she had been wrong she can be nice to Rachel Berry for one night.

"Yeah, Berry we have more than enough to add an extra seat." Santana offers and gets a smile of approval from both blondes and Rachel beams at the Latina and runs back into the room and pulls her into a hard hug.

"Oh thank you so much Santana this really means a lot to me considering I have been somewhat friendless and boyfriendless as of late." Rachel exclaims pulling away and taking a seat on Santana's bed making herself comfortable. "I know that my enthusiasm for taking part in your holiday as well as in your home in particular would normally be seen as strange and perhaps somewhat psychotic seeing as the reason for my breakup with Finn is a result of you." Rachel continues and Santana shoots Quinn a glare and huffs turning back to face the diva sitting on her bed. "But 'tis the season and all of that hoorah so I have chosen to forgive you because I'm a Jew and we can forgive." She smiles kindly at the girl standing before her and after a few more moments of staring Santana rolls her eyes and stomps off to her closet to grab a sweater.

"You so owe me for this." Santana mutters to both blonde's as she grabs Brittany by the hand and leads them out to the living room where her family is sitting around fighting over cake and pie.

Interestingly enough the night goes very well and with enough nudges and playful slaps Santana is able to be kind to Rachel in her own kind of way. In a way it kind of worked out well that Rachel had intruded upon her holiday because Santana truly had so much to focus on with the new formation of the Santana/Brittany relationship so it is kind of good to have Berry around to keep Quinn occupied and not feel like the third wheel. Luckily as well with Rachel around she can keep Brittany entertained so that she and Quinn can try out their newfound friendship and slowly begin to repair the damages they both had caused. While she and Quinn are talking she feels a pinch on her arm and she winces and quickly turns around to find Rachel with her arms crossed.

"Listen dwarf, Christmas is almost over and I have no problems throwing your ass out of here." Santana scowls and turns to match the other girl's stance.

"You better not hurt Brittany." Rachel spits back and Santana looks to where the blonde had been for the past 15 minutes only to find that she is no longer in the room.

"Where is she?" Santana wonders with concern.

"She went to the bathroom but she has just been telling me all about your Christmases and how wonderful they all were but that this one was the most incredible one yet." Rachel informs her and her facial expression softens. "I'm just saying, for future reference, if you hurt her I…" Santana quirks an eyebrow waiting for some sort of threat but when nothing comes she chuckles and shakes her head.

"Don't worry Berry I don't plan on hurting her." The Latina tells her and they nod in agreement.

"Wow Rach, didn't know you could be that menacing." Quinn interrupts with a small smirk playing on her lips. "I'm impressed."

"Well watching you guys interact for the past few years it's easy to pick up a few pointers." She shrugs and takes a seat on the sofa again.

"Thanks… I think." Quinn furrows her eyebrows and looks to Santana who merely shakes her head.

When Brittany comes back to join them she jumps onto Santana's back and is begging her to let them take Quinn and Rachel to the park. She explains to them how beautiful the park looks at night especially on Christmas and even more so when it's snowing. Santana hesitates at the idea of Rachel Berry coming along for the intimate setting of the three best friends but eventually gives in when Quinn nods that it's okay.

They bundle up and prepare to hit the snowy roads to the park a few blocks away. Santana and Brittany arms in arm lead the way a few feet ahead of Quinn and Rachel who walk with a little space between them. At first the two in back walk in complete silence taking in the night air and watching the two girls in front of them whisper sweet nothings into one another's ears and giggle.

"They are kind of cute together." Rachel breaks the quiet and Quinn whips her head to the diva's direction. Rachel nods to the couple before them and Quinn looks seeing Brittany kiss Santana's cheek. "Is she blushing?" Rachel asks incredulously and Quinn laughs.

"She'll say it's the cold." The blonde informs the smaller brunette beside her. "But yeah, they are cute." She agrees nodding to herself.

"So you guys do this every year?" The shorter girl asks waving her hands around as if to point out all they had done this evening.

"We used to, but, not for the past two years." Quinn bites her lower lip mad at herself for allowing herself to share this much information with man-hands but hanging out with Rachel really hadn't been so bad.

"Oh. Well it looks like everything is good now." Rachel doesn't ask any further questions and for that Quinn is grateful and she nods with a small smile. "That's nice." Just as they were turning the corner Rachel slips on a patch of ice and Quinn automatically grabs her arm only to go down with her. They hit the ground and after yelping in pain and embarrassment they fall into fits of laughter.

"What the hell?" Santana says loudly over the laughing and turns around to find the two girls on the floor falling all over each other. She grins at them not being able to control themselves shaking her head as she walks over to offer a hand. "Way to go, good to see you're still clumsy Fabray." She jokes.

"Oh hey it was not me it was all Rachel." Quinn hollers pointing to the diva beside her who Brittany is helping up.

"Yeah a likely story." Brittany mumbles as she almost slips grabbing onto Rachel's jacket to maintain her balance and they all break out into laughter.

After leaving the small incident behind them but still with laughter in the air the four finally make it to the park. Santana and Brittany run in and start throwing snow at one another and climbing up the slide that is all ice. Quinn and Rachel watch them from a very cold bench as the other two act like the best friends they have always been.

A few minutes goes by and Santana and Brittany finally decide they've had enough of running around and find themselves standing in the middle of the basketball court. The moonlight lighting just enough of the area around them to make everything look so magical. Their breath mixes together in the air and they grin at one another. Santana reaches into her pocket and shows it to Brittany who looks at it carefully.

"What is that?" Brittany asks poking it with her fingers.

"It's mistletoe B." Santana tells her lifting it up further into the light. "When people stand under it they have to kiss." She explains lifting it over their heads but Brittany stops her arm from rising. Santana quirks an eyebrow and watches the blonde bring her hand over the mistletoe letting the pines tickle her fingers. Then Brittany looks to Santana and smirks yanking the mistletoe from her and tossing it over her shoulder.

"San you don't need an excuse to kiss me." Brittany says and Santana smiles.

"I want to kiss you all the time." Santana admits and looks away bashfully but is brought back to look at Brittany when the blonde's fingers come to her cheek and stop her from turning away.

"So then do it all the time."

"Britt, I know…" She stutters and stomps her foot to the snow in frustration because when did words escape her?

"What?" Brittany nervously asks.

"Here it is, I told you how I feel, then you told me how you feel we… did stuff and then you were all like is this it or whatever but I want you." Santana blurts out and Brittany's eyes widen trying to take in all this information at once. She goes to open her mouth but quickly closes it unsure if it is her turn to talk yet. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that, or what I'm trying to ask is will you be my girlfriend?" She asks and shifts her weight from side to side and twists her lips waiting for a response. Brittany's smile slowly grows and she has small tears in her eyes or maybe it's the wind.

"Best Christmas ever." Brittany whispers as she nods and leans in to press her lips to Santana's.

"Woohoo!" Rachel and Quinn claps and cheer from the bench.

But the two on the basketball court continue to kiss as the snow falls down upon them. Brittany was right. Best damn Christmas ever. The blonde pulls her closer and tries to put her hand into Santana's jacket to grab on to something. But she pulls back from the kiss with a perplexed look on her face and looking at her hand in the pocket.

"San what's this?" Brittany asks and she pulls out a small bottle that is half full from her jacket. Santana eyes it up and she grins taking the bottle from Brittany.

"It's to celebrate." She says more to herself than to anyone in particular.

"Celebrate what?" The blonde inquires with an intrigued smile dancing on her lips.

"To celebrate us and our past, our present and… our future."


End file.
